Friends
by Lajoie
Summary: Faberry.  Takes place shortly after the Rocky Horror episode.
1. Chapter 1

**This is not only the first fan fiction I've ever written but the first story I've ever written. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with it, well, I do but I'm not exactly sure how I'm getting there. It's just a chapter by chapter progress. The story starts right after the end of the Rocky Horror episode. _Disclaimer: I don't know own Glee or any of it's characters. Someone else owns it...FOX I think._**

CHAPTER ONE

Rachel didn't have any friends.

Oh, sure, you might think her Glee Club teammates were her 'friends', but they really weren't. They were more like acquaintances. They were people with similar interests with whom she got along. But you couldn't really call them friends. They put up with her because she was the most talented singer of the group. They had no shot at winning regionals without her. Hell, they couldn't win it last year with her. But outside of praising her for her vocal talents she was merely tolerated the rest of the time. Even her boyfriend, Finn, seemed like he could stand to talk to her for only so long before he got bored and would suggest that they make out.

It may be obvious why it was so hard to put up with Rachel. She could be obnoxious and selfish; manipulative and shallow; and sometimes just a complete bitch. But doesn't that really describe most people? Couldn't you apply those same labels to many of the other members of the Glee Club? So why is it that all the negative thoughts seemed to be directed at Rachel?

Rachel had been muling over those questions for a long time now and just could not come up with a reason. She couldn't very well ask someone why. They'd probably think she was being self-centered and brush it off as just another stupid thing said by Rachel Berry.

Rachel sat on a stool in the choir room as these thoughts ran through her head. Glee rehearsal had ended over an hour ago but she just couldn't work-up the will to leave. She had called her dad, one of her two dads, to tell him she'd be staying late for rehearsal. She didn't like lying to her dad, but she doubted he'd be fine with leaving her at school if he new she was just going to sit in a poorly lit, empty room and think about how much she hated her life.

Rachel stood up and slowly made her way around the choir room. She ran her fingers over the keys of the the piano as she passed by it. The sound of the keys echoed around the room. Breaking the silence seemed to break Rachel out of her thoughts for a moment. She looked up towards the door to the hallway in time to see something move. _Had someone been watching me?_ Rachel walked quickly towards the door and look down both directions of the hallway. No one. Rachel began to wonder if maybe she was just seeing things. She glanced at her watch.

"I guess I should head home", Rachel said to the empty hallway. She pulled out her phone to ask her dad to come pick her up.

**_-Break-_**

Quinn hated staying late after school. The building seemed like something out of a bad horror film when it wasn't filled with students. Quinn looked around the library. Everyone else had gone home. Everyone except the librarian. Her scraggly hair and wrinkled face made Quinn think of a witch. Quinn shook her head and turned her attention back to the history book in front of her.

Quinn flipped through the pages of the book. It was titled "The American Revolution", which just so happened to be the subject of the essay that Quinn needed to finish in two days. She had been putting it off for a week and now it was coming back to bite her in the ass. It wasn't so much that she didn't like history, just that she didn't like writing essays.

Quinn sighed as she glanced at the papers on the desk. She had gotten a decent amount done. More then half of the essay was written at least. She had to skip Glee practice to do it but in the end school came before singing. But not by much. She liked singing. Which wasn't a very unusual thing. A lot of people like to sing. But most would never do it in front of a group of people. She didn't have much of a problem performing in front of people, she had been cheerleading since she was five. She was use to having a lot of attention poured on her. Quinn didn't pretend she was the best singer in the world. She knew she would never be able to sing like Mercedes or Rachel. But if you gave her the right song, one that suited here voice, she was good enough to do the song justice.

Quinn closed the history book and started to collect her things. She had done enough work for one day, she could finish things up tomorrow. After putting the book back on the shelf where she found it Quinn left the library. Her feet clicked on the the floor of the hallway as she made her way towards the parking lot. As she passed by the Glee room she noticed that one of the lights was on. Quinn cautiously stuck her head into the room, expecting to see the janitor cleaning up, or Ms. Sylvester digging a tiger trap in the center of the floor.

Instead, Quinn saw Rachel. She was sitting on a stool, staring at the ground. She seemed lost in thought and...sad. The whole situation seemed very odd to Quinn. _Why is she here alone? Why does she seem so sad? Should I say something?_ Quinn quickly answered her last question with a firm 'no'. The last thing she wanted to do was get stuck in the school for another hour listening to Rachel's problems. Even if she was curious as to what those problems were.

Rachel standing up drew Quinn away from her own questions. Rachel started walking slowly around the room. Quinn watched her, waiting to see what she would do. Rachel slowed down even more as she reached the piano and ran her hand along the keys. _She's probably about to bust out into song_, Quinn thought.

Suddenly Rachel looked up towards the door. Quinn quickly stepped out of the doorway. She realized how odd it would seem if Rachel caught her standing there. Quinn quickly turned back down the hallway towards the parking lot. By the time she had made it to her car she had already put Rachel to the back of her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Quinn exited the school library with her completed American history paper. She stayed late after school again to finish it and now she was ready to go home and just crash. It would seem that doing school work was more strenuous then cheerleading. She vowed to never wait till the last minute to write an essay again; she knew she would never keep to that vow though.

Quinn quickly made her way down the hallway. As she neared the Glee room the memories of what she saw yesterday came back to her. She quieted her steps as she drew closer to the entrance. The light was on again. As she stuck her head through the door she saw Rachel laying down across several chairs that had been pushed together. At first Quinn thought she might be sleeping, but when she heard a quiet sob escape from Rachel's lips she knew that wasn't the case.

Quinn felt pity welling up inside her. There was something wrong with Rachel. Quinn didn't know what it was, but whatever it was it didn't seem like something that she would just get over. Quinn glanced down the hallway towards the parking lot, then back at Rachel. With a small sigh she entered the class room.

Rachel's eyes were open but she was so lost in her own world that Quinn thought she could have line danced into the room without her noticing. Quinn stopped a few feet short of Rachel, not sure what to say. She peeked over her shoulder back at the door thinking it wasn't too late to just leave. But even as she considered that another blast of pity hit her and she turned back around to face the crying girl.

"Rachel?" Quinn said as softly as possible so as not to startle her. Rachel continued to lay there staring at the ceiling, Quinn's voice blocked out. "Rachel?" Quinn repeated a little louder. This time she got a response. Rachel shot up into a seated position with a look of pure terror on her face. As if Freddy Krueger had just jumped out at her. But as she calmed down and started to focus on the world around her her expression changed from terror to confusion.

"Quinn? What are you doing here?" Rachel said, her voice raspy from the crying she has been doing.

"I go to this school too. It's no stranger for me to be here then it is for you to be here," Quinn responded. Quinn regretted saying it the moment it left her lips. She thought she had come in here to help Rachel. If so then that wasn't a great start. "I saw you in here and came in to see what was going on."

Rachel paused for a moment before responding. "I was just practicing some songs."

"Must have been some pretty emotional songs if they had you breaking down into tears," Quinn said sarcastically.

Rachel's face became flush with embarrassment.

"I saw you here yesterday as well," Quinn continued. "I'm smart enough to see that somethings wrong."

"What do you care if something is wrong with me?" Rachel said quietly, directing the question at her feet.

"If I didn't care do you think I'd be in here right now? Look, I don't have all night to play Doctor Phil. Just tell me what the problem is. Maybe I can help." Quinn sat down next to Rachel as she finished.

"You can't help. You're part of the problem," Rachel said.

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"What the hell did I do?" Quinn demanded. "I can't even remember the last time I did anything mean to you."

"It's not like that," Rachel said. "You didn't do anything."

Quinn wasn't sure if she should be angry or confused. "Can you just talk plainly, please? What is the problem?"

Rachel glanced back at the floor. She started smooth out her dress, using it as an excuse to think. After a few moments she looked back at Quinn.

"I don't have any friends," Rachel whispered.

"You don't have any friends? What are you talking about? What about everyone in Glee club?" Quinn said.

"They're not my friends," Rachel responded.

"How can you say that? Of course they're your friends."

"No they're not. If so then I've been greatly misinformed about what friends are suppose to act like. Are friends suppose to put you down every time they talk to you? Are friends suppose to act like you're just in the way every time they're all together? I don't think so," Rachel finished in a huff, her voice the loudest it had been up to this point.

"No, they're not," Quinn said thoughtfully. "But they're just having fun. They don't mean it. It doesn't mean they're not your friends."

"How do you know? With the way you've always treated me, anything better then that would seem like friendship."

Quinn flinched at Rachel's statement. She couldn't really argue it though. It was true, Quinn had never treated Rachel like anything more then a bothersome fly. Even after all this time working together in Glee club.

"Rachel, I..." Quinn wasn't able to finish before Rachel cut her off.

"Look, we both know you don't want to be here talking to me," Rachel said as she stood up. "let me make this easier for you." Rachel stormed out of the classroom.

Quinn just watched her go.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

"I'm always the one picking the lessons," Will Schuester said to begin Glee that afternoon. He sat in a chair facing the entire Glee class who were spread out on the stadium seats. The members of the club were all position in their usual places. Brittney next to Santana, Rachel next to Finn, Tina next to Mike, Kurt next to Mercedes and Quinn next to Sam; Artie sat in his wheel chair off to the side and Puck was by himself in the back. Pretty much what the normal set up had been for the last few weeks. Most of the students had a look of anticipation on their face as they waited to hear what this weeks lesson would be. Mr. Shue continued, "So I was thinking that maybe this week I'd let one of you pick our lesson."

Rachel's head suddenly swelled with a million ideas. Her lust for control had always been crushed by her total lack of control over all things Glee. Perhaps that was a good thing overall, but now she might actually get a chance to express her many ideas.

Artie was the first to chime in, "How about gangsta rap? I don't think we do enough of that here, or really any of that. I think it would be fun." He got a smattering of support from a few members. Mostly from Mike who seemed interested in performing some of his dance moves to something a little rougher then what the group usually performed. Artie's idea was quickly turned down though by most of the other members.

Brittney spoke up next, "I think we should do a collection of song by Kesha." Almost immediately after her suggestion Santana patted her on the back and soothingly told her that maybe they could do some Kesha next time. Brittney looked momentarily disappointed before she became distracted by a lady bug that had landed on her cheerleading skirt.

Mercedes stood up and looked around the room. "I'm always saying we don't do enough R&B in this place and I'm going to say the same thing now. R&B." Mercedes sat back down when she was done.

"I'm not doing R&B." Puck said plainly.

Mercedes rolled her eyes and looked like she was about to tear into Puck until Rachel interrupted.

"Do you want to know what I think?" Rachel asked.

"No," Kurt said dryly, "Nobody wants to hear what you think." A few of the other students giggled at his response.

Rachel turned to look at Kurt, keeping a blank expression on her face. She hoped he would take it as an expression of anger instead of what she was really feeling inside, hurt. As she turned back around her eyes stopped a moment on Quinn. She was looking at Kurt as well, but instead of laughing she had a look of disappointment on her face. Rachel hadn't spoken to Quinn since walking out on her the other day and it would seem that Quinn hadn't told anyone about the indecent, which Rachel was thankful for.

Rachel turned back to face Mr. Shue. "I was just going to say that there was no way we're all going to come to a consensus of what we should perform," Rachel began, pausing a moment to see if anyone else had any negative comments. She continued, "So I was thinking maybe we could split into smaller groups. It would be a lot easier to come to an agreement that way.

Mr. Shue nodded his head and looked around the room to see if anyone had a problem with that. It seemed most of the members of Glee thought it was actually a good idea.

"Okay," Mr. Shue began, "How about four groups of three?"

Mr. Shue decided the best way to make teams would be to pick a captain and let the captains decide. Like as if they were about to play a pick up game of basketball. Each person would stand up and move next to their captain as they were picked. He chose Santana, Quinn, Mike, and Artie to be captains; that was also the order that they would pick their teams in.

Santana picked Brittney first which surprised no one. Quinn then picked Sam, Mike picked Tina, and Artie finished the first round by picking Kurt. Santana then picked Puck to start the second round.

"Your turn Quinn," Mr Shue said.

Rachel looked around at the other two remaining members, Mercedes and Finn. She wondered which one Quinn would pick. Finn and Quinn had a history, a bumpy one, but they seemed to be getting along much better as of late. Quinn and Mercedes had also seemed to be getting a long lately. Mercedes' voice would probably go a lot better with Sam and Quinn's voices then Finn's.

Quinn looked at the remaining members. She put her finger to her chin thoughtfully. She stared at Mercedes for a long moment before training her eyes right on Rachel.

"Rachel," Quinn said confidently.

Everyone in the room turned to look at Quinn who's expression remained calm. Rachel looked around the class at everyone else's shocked faces before standing up and slowly walking over to Quinn. After everyone had regained focus the picking of teams was rounded out by Mike picking Mercedes and Artie getting Finn. After they were in their teams they were told to find a place in the room and start discussing their choices of song.

As Rachel, Quinn, and Sam moved towards the right side of the seats Rachel leaned over to whisper into Quinn's ear.

"You know this isn't a competition. You could have picked someone you wanted to perform with," Rachel said cautiously.

"I know," Quinn said matter-of-factly, "and I did."

Rachel gave Quinn a puzzled look before sitting down with them to start discussing their songs.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

The three glass cups clanked together as Quinn pulled them out of the cabinet. She placed them on the counter, grabbed the bottle of apple cider from the fridge and poured it into each cup. She carefully picked the cups up and made her way back into the living room of her house. Sam and Rachel sat on different ends of the couch looking somewhat uncomfortable. Quinn placed the cups onto the table in front of them then sat down on the recliner. When her parents got divorced her mother got to keep the house, which Dianna was thankful for. She had lived here since she was born and would have been sad if she had to leave it.

Rachel and Sam thanked her as they grabbed their glasses simultaneously and took a sip. Quinn guessed that the two of them really hadn't gotten to know each other since Sam joined Glee club, despite Sam and Finn becoming friends. With Sam being a kind of awkward person and Rachel just seeming uncomfortable with the whole situation they didn't look like they were too eager to strike up a friendship right now.

"So," Quinn said, breaking the silence, "Now that we're all settled how about we start figuring out what we're going to sing."

Rachel seemed to take that as a cue to start running off every idea she had ever come up with. Everything from Broadway show tunes to jazzy numbers, mash-ups to dance heavy performances, and everything in between. Sam just sat there quietly. Quinn figured he had already resigned himself to not having much of a say in this whole process so he would just listen intently. Quinn threw out suggestions whenever Rachel paused, she had to admit though, a lot of Rachel's selections were pretty good ideas.

After a couple of hours of pretty much endless talking from Rachel they still hadn't come to a solid choice. But at least they had narrowed it down to a few.

"I think we've got a lot done today, perhaps we should commandeer the auditorium tomorrow and try some of our choices out, see what feels right," Rachel suggested.

"Sounds like a good idea," Sam said, which seemed like the first thing he had said in awhile, "I guess I should go than." Sam got up and walked over to Quinn. He kissed her on the cheek and gave her a cute smile before giving Rachel a wave and leaving. Quinn was still getting use to having Sam as her boyfriend. He was the first real boyfriend she had had since breaking up with Finn and she didn't want to rush anything.

Rachel was throwing her notebook and papers, which she had all her ideas written down on, into her backpack as Sam left. After zipping her bag up she threw it over her shoulder and stood up, looking at Quinn.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Rachel said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, I guess so," Quinn responded, also feeling a little uncomfortable. Rachel continued to stand there though.

"Um, do you want to say something?" Quinn asked, arching an eyebrow questioningly at Rachel. Rachel looked at the floor.

"Rachel, if you want to say something just say it. It's not like I'm not going to hit you," Quinn said, a little more annoyance in her voice then she meant to let out.

"I just...I just wanted to thank you for picking me to be on your team, but...did you just do this because of what happened in the Glee room the other day?" Rachel asked.

Quinn paused for a moment, not sure exactly what to say.

"Honestly? Yes. If I hadn't seen you crying that day I probably wouldn't have picked you. But that's because I wouldn't have known that you need to be picked."

"Needed to be picked?" Rachel said, confused.

"Yes, you were feeling down about nobody liking you. I thought maybe this would make you feel better."

"Why would you care though? You've never cared about my feelings before. You've always hated me." Tears were beginning to form in Rachel's eyes.

"I don't hate you Rachel," Quinn said soothingly, "Maybe I thought I did once, but I know I don't now. We're not friends, but that doesn't mean we're enemies. In the whole time we've known each other you've done more nice things for me than I have ever done for you. In fact, I've never done anything nice for you. Think of this as making up for that."

Rachel stared at Quinn for a few moments. "I don't want to be a charity case, Quinn."

"You're not! Maybe I just worded that badly," Quinn said defensively. "I want to help you. I honestly felt bad because you felt bad. You know, like a friend would."

"You want to be my friend?"

"Well, maybe. I don't know. All I know is that I wanted to help you feel better. That's my only goal right now".

Rachel smiled at Quinn, tears running down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Quinn."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't go around telling everybody I'm a softy though, I have a reputation to uphold!" Quinn said playfully.

Rachel wiped the tears from her face. "Of course! I guess I should go now. I'll see you tomorrow."

Rachel turned to go, but stopped suddenly. She turned back to Quinn and looked at her for a moment before walking right up to her. She paused again before reaching out and wrapping her arms around her in a hug. Quinn flinch at first before she realized that Rachel wasn't attacking her. She then wrapped her arms around Rachel and returned the hug. Rachel smelled of lavenders, which confused Quinn. Not the so much the scent, but the fact that she was noticing it. She had never noticed or cared what Rachel smelled like before. But she figured this had been a weird enough couple of days anyway and brushed the thought off as her head being mixed up. Rachel released their embrace after a few moments and gave Quinn one last smile before turning and leaving.

Later the that night Quinn laid in bed, thinking about Rachel. She hoped that simply involving Rachel in this group assignment would be enough to kick her out of her funk. Quinn didn't want to spend her whole life taking care of Rachel. Quinn was confused as to why she would even think about doing anything with Rachel for her whole life. That was the last thought Quinn had before drifting off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**I wasn't sure if I should even mention the songs that they were practicing since I'm no expert on music, plus, it's not the focus of the story. But I thought it looked odd not mention the music at all. I have no idea if those two songs mash-up together, I just opened iTunes and picked two songs.**

CHAPTER FIVE

"Sam!" Rachel exclaimed in a huff, "Your timing is way off. You have to come in two beats before the end of our lines or it doesn't work!".

Rachel, Sam, and Quinn had been in the auditorium all afternoon trying out different songs. Right now they were trying to get the timing down for a mash-up of 'Glycerine' by Bush and 'Wild World' by Cat Stevens, but Sam just kept screwing it up. Rachel was becoming exacerbated. It took all her will not to throw something at him, and all he would do is laugh it off.

"One beat, two beats, who's going to notice?" Sam said with a smile.

"I notice!" Rachel responded. Rachel turned to Quinn looking for support but she was just sitting on the ground looking at Rachel.

"You don't have to be all uptight about it. It's just a song," Sam said.

"Just a song?," Rachel yelled, "It's not just a song, it's a song I put together and you should have the common decency to perform it right!"

Sam threw up his hands, no longer finding the situation very funny. "I didn't join this club to be yelled at like an idiot. When you're ready to act like a teammate and not my boss I'll come back. I'm going home." Sam stormed off the stage.

Rachel turned back to Quinn. "Can you believe that?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I can," Quinn answered, "I would have done the same thing if you were treating me like that."

"But, he kept messing up!"

"Not on purpose. He's new to this club. He's going to be a little rough in the beginning, but he'll eventually come around," Quinn pursed her lips for a moment, "But regardless you can't treat people like that."

"I was trying to get him to do it right," Rachel said softly as she dropped to the floor beside Quinn.

"I get that", Quinn said with a smile, "But this isn't a boot camp. Yelling at him isn't going to help anything. It's just going to make him not want to participate."

Rachel was silent for a moment.

"I guess it's stuff like this that makes people not like me," Rachel said with a sigh.

"Perhaps."

Rachel turned and looked at Quinn, a little hurt by her response. Quinn seemed to read Rachel's face.

"I didn't mean people don't like you," Quinn said quickly, "I'm just saying that if it's going to be anything it would probably be stuff like this."

Rachel looked down at the floor.

"Sorry," Quinn said, "I guess I didn't think that response through."

"No, you're right. I need to stop being such a bitch all the time."

"You're not a bitch all the time! Just when it comes to music."

"Oh, thanks," Rachel said, smiling at Quinn. "Maybe I should apologize to Sam."

"That would probably be a good start," Quinn said supportively, "But it can wait till tomorrow."

"Yeah, you're right. I should call my dad to come pick me up," Rachel said as she rummaged through her purse for her phone.

"That's silly," Quinn said, "I'll give you ride."

"Really?" Rachel asked excitedly. She wasn't really sure why she was excited. Perhaps it was just that being given a ride was just another sign of a possible friendship with the other girl.

"Yeah, of course, it's no big deal."

They grabbed all their stuff and made their way to Quinn's car. Once inside they drove off. Rachel liked Quinn's car, she wished she could have one of her own, but her parents couldn't afford it. If she had any free time on her hands she might have tried getting a job to pay for one, but with all her extracurricular activities that would be almost impossible. She probably wouldn't be driving till she got to college.

"So, are you just going to let me drive around randomly or are you going to tell me where you live?" Quinn asked jokingly.

"Oh, right, you've never been to my house," Rachel said before giving Quinn detailed directions. As they pulled up Rachel started to collect her things.

"Thanks for the ride, Quinn. That was really nice of you," Rachel said, giving Quinn a big smile.

"It's not like i saved the rain forest, I drove a little out of my way to drop you off," Quinn said, with a confused look on her face.

"Well, yeah, but still it was very nice anyway," Rachel insisted.

"I guess, I'll see you tomorrow," Quinn said.

Rachel pause for a moment before getting out of the car. Quinn arched an eyebrow. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Quinn seemed to be taken aback a moment. "No, that's okay. It's nice of you to ask but I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be intruding at all!" Rachel said, excitement raising in her voice, "My dads always make too much food and they love guests. It's no problem at all!"

Quinn bit her lip in thought, nodding her head back and forth as if weighing the options. "I guess, if your parents don't mind, I'd like to stay for dinner."

"Cool, come on in," Rachel said as she jumped out of the car. She turned around to make sure Quinn was following her before making her way to her front door and opening it. Rachel held the door open for Quinn and motioned elegantly for her to enter her house. Quinn entered slowly, looking around as if a trap was ready to be tripped at any moment.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Quinn sat at the dinner table, waiting for the food to be served up. Rachel sat across from her and one of her dads, Jim, sat to her left. Her other dad, Steve, was in the kitchen finishing up the meal, fettuccine alfredo. Rachel's dads had been more then welcoming to Quinn when they found out she was staying for dinner, which helped calm her nerves. She had felt a little uncomfortable at first. A few days ago she would never have even considered striking up a conversation with Rachel without being forced, now she was having dinner with her family.

"I'm glad Rachel brought another friend over," Jim said with a smile, "we were starting to think Finn was the only person Rachel knew at school." Rachel's face reddened in embarrassment at her dads inadvertent comment on her social life, or lack there of.

"Well, we're working on a Glee club project together so we've been spending more time together," Quinn said, and then added "thanks again for letting me stay for dinner."

"Oh, please, you or any of Rachel's other friends are welcome over anytime they please," Jim said warmly.

"Dinner is served!" Steve bellowed as he exited the kitchen. They ate while making light conversation. Rachel's dads asked about the musical project they were working and also about Glee in general. They made Quinn feel right at home and before she knew it she was laughing and telling funny stories about Glee. Rachel didn't say too much, she just seemed to be listening to Quinn, laughing when appropriate but mostly just studying her. It made Quinn a little uncomfortable.

After dinner was over Rachel asked Quinn if she'd like to come up to her room. Quinn looked at the time and then told Rachel it would have to be a short visit since she needed to be getting home soon. They headed up the stairs to Rachel's room. The room was just about what Quinn expect. Bright, colorful, and filled with references to all types of musicals and Broadway shows.

"What do you think?" Rachel asked curiously.

"It's nice," Quinn said, though the room was a little too loud for her taste.

"Did you enjoy dinner?"

"Yeah, it was good, and your dads are pretty cool."

"I know," Rachel said with a smile.

Quinn sat down on the bed and Rachel joined her a moment later.

"So," Quinn began, "what now?"

"I don't know, I didn't think that far ahead," Rachel said with a giggle.

They both sat in awkward silence. Quinn tried to think of something interesting to talk about but her mind was just blank.

"I guess if we were really friends we'd have all sorts of things to talk about," Rachel said with disappointment in her voice.

"Well, we don't really know a lot about each other. How are we suppose to talk about something if we don't know what each of us like to talk about?"

Rachel paused a moment before turning to Quinn. "So how are things going with Sam? He seems like a nice guy, except for when I'm yelling at him."

"He is nice," Quinn replied, "though he's kind of an airhead sometimes and he's a little immature. But I guess you could say that about most guys our age."

"Yeah, Finn has his fair share of immature and blond moments," Rachel said.

"Excuse me! Blond moments?" Quinn said in playful anger while pointing at her head.

"Oh! Sorry, that came out wrong," Rachel said apologetically.

"I think I do pretty well for myself despite this 'handicap'," Quinn stated sarcastically.

Rachel giggled at Quinn's joke and Quinn couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Rachel, you're a lot more fun then you give yourself credit for. I think if you asked anyone from Glee club they would agree."

Rachel looked at the floor with an embarrassed smile. "Thank you, Quinn."

"I should go, it's getting late and my moms probably back from work by now," Quinn said while standing up.

"Right, okay, well let me show you to the door," Rachel said disappointedly.

They made their way down the stairs and to the front door. Quinn said a final farewell to Rachel's parents before exiting the house. Rachel walked her to her car.

"Thanks for having dinner with me," Rachel said.

"What? I should be thanking you for inviting me to dinner. Who thanks someone for eating their food?" Quinn said with a grin.

"Well, the 'thanks' was more for the hanging out with me part, not the eating part," Rachel clarified.

"Anytime," Quinn said. Then Quinn did something she didn't expect to do, she leaned forward and gave Rachel a hug. Rachel seem surprised at first that Quinn initiated it but surprised turned in joy as she returned the hug. Once they separated Quinn got into her car and drove home.

At home Quinn sat with her mother and watched TV for a little while before heading off to bed. As she brushed her hair in front of her mirror, which she did every night before going to sleep, she though about Rachel. _I guess maybe we really are becoming friends,_ Quinn thought, _who would have guessed?_ She couldn't believe it but she was actually looking forward to seeing Rachel tomorrow. She realized this was no longer just about helping Rachel feel better about herself. It was now also about becoming closer to a new a friend.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Rachel rushed to the auditorium. She had stayed after class to ask about possible extra credit assignments. She didn't need it but that didn't mean she couldn't raise her grade form great to fantastic. As she made her way to the auditorium a smile started to form on her face. She had been thinking about Quinn all day and she couldn't wait to see her new friend. It was odd thinking of her as a new friend since they had known each other for so long, but the Quinn she knew now was so different from the Quinn she use to know. Rachel figured it had to do with all the changes that had gone on her life recently. The baby, her parents getting divorced, these were things that might make someone reevaluate their life and who they are as a person. It may have seemed selfish but Rachel was glad that these changes had happened to Quinn, even if they were the result of such bad circumstances.

Rachel entered the auditorium from the back row entrance and saw Quinn and Sam already on stage. Not only were they on stage but Sam was leaning over and kissing Quinn, who seemed to be very much enjoying it. Rachel felt an emotional pain in her chest that she hadn't felt in a long time, not since the last time she had seen Quinn and Finn kiss when they were dating. Jealousy. This feeling confused Rachel, she had never even thought about Sam in any sort of romantic way. Why would she when she had a guy like Finn? Yet she was feeling it.

Not wanting to watch this display of affection anymore Rachel made her way down the aisle towards the stage, letting her feet loudly slap against the floor. Quinn broke the kiss first and turned to look at Rachel with a smile.

"Hey, Rachel," Quinn said, "about time you showed up!"

"I had some school stuff to take care of," Rachel said plainly, not wanting any of the feelings she was experience inside her to be expressed out loud.

"Well that's cool, we got all afternoon," Quinn stepped closer to Rachel as she spoke. She leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Isn't there something you wanted to say to Sam?"

"What? I don't want to say anything to Sam," Rachel said quietly, wondering how Quinn could have known about her sudden burst of jealousy.

"I thought you were going to apologize," Quinn said with annoyance in her voice.

"Oh! Right, I forgot," Rachel said sheepishly. Rachel turned to Sam, "Sam, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted yesterday. Sometimes I can be too controlling and it causes me to become a little crazy. I'm sorry."

Sam gave her a big cute smile, "That's alright, no harm done."

Rachel found it odd that his smile did nothing for her. Just a moment ago she had been jealous of Quinn kissing him and now he was smiling at her in a way that would make any girl's heart flutter and Rachel felt nothing. Rachel returned the smile before moving towards the center of the stage.

The three of them practiced for then next two hours. As Quinn had predicted Sam eventually got the timing down right and the three of them were sounding great. Rachel was actually having a good time and she thought that maybe Sam might be becoming her friend as well.

By the end of the rehearsal they were all pretty worn out. Sam announced that he had to get home in time for dinner by order of his mother. He walked over to Quinn and gave her a long kiss on the lips. Rachel suddenly felt that same feeling of jealousy build up inside her again, she just couldn't understand it. When Sam pulled away he turned and waved at Rachel before leaving. She watched him got in total confusion.

"You ready to go?" Quinn asked, breaking Rachel out of her thoughts.

"Go where?" Rachel responded.

"Home. I'm leaving, if you happen to be in the passenger seat of my car when I roll out of the parking lot I might just think about dropping you off at home," Quinn said with a grin.

Rachel couldn't help but smile. She was getting use to Quinn's dry sense of humor and she found it very amusing. She followed Quinn to her car and made a point of showing that she was indeed seated in the car and ready to go home.

"I think you did good today," Quinn said after a few minutes of driving in silence.

"I don't know, I was a little tired when we performed so I didn't really hit the long notes like I should have. But I'll be sure to be well rested when we perform for the class."

"Actually, I wasn't talking about your singing," Quinn said, taking her eyes off the road for a moment to give Rachel a cute smile, "I was thinking more along the lines of your attitude. You didn't yell or get annoyed once through the whole time we were practicing, even when Sam or I screwed up. I think that's a pretty huge improvement over yesterday."

Rachel smiled at Quinn. "I guess I have you to thank. Perhaps I should think of you as my Zen master. Helping me to find enlightenment."

"If you start bowing to me I'm going to kick you," Quinn said jokingly.

"Yes, Sensei," Rachel responded with a small bow of her head.

Quinn tsked loudly, "I'd kick you now if it didn't mean we'd probably get into a horrible accident." Both girls broke down into laughter.

Quinn took the final turn onto Rachel's street and pulled up to her house.

"Here we are," Quinn announced, "That'll be $12.50."

"Darn!" Rachel said playfully, "I don't have any money on me!"

"I guess we'll have to start a tab," Quinn gave Rachel a big smile and to Rachel's shock her heart started to beat faster and she felt butterflies in her stomach. The same feelings that she had expected to feel when Sam smiled at her. Rachel's face drooped as she started to realize why she felt this way right now.

"Is something the matter," Quinn asked, concerned.

Rachel's head shot up to look at Quinn, "What? Um...no. Thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow," Rachel said everything in one big breath while she grabbed all her stuff and jumped out of the car. She just heard Quinn say a faint farewell before she slammed the door and walked briskly to her front door and went inside.

Rachel leaned against the door, breathing hard. Her mind was racing a mile a minute, trying to produce rational thought, but she couldn't. All she could think about was Quinn's smile and how it made her feel. _My God, _Rachel thought, _I like Quinn!_


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Quinn was excited to be at school today. Today was the day that everyone in Glee club was to perform their group song. Even though she had performed their song numerous times for practice, it was definitely a different feeling performing in front of a group. It gave her a thrill. Quinn imagined Rachel must be just as excited as her, Rachel seemed excited every time she got a chance to sing. As if thinking about her made her magically appear, Quinn saw Rachel rummaging through her locker as she made her way between classes.

Quinn walked up behind her a poked her in the back, "Hey there, you ready for this afternoon?"

Rachel jumped a mile into the air in surprise, "Quinn! I didn't see you there."

"I know," Quinn responded with a smile, "That's because you were facing in the wrong direction, hence me poking you in the back."

"Right," Rachel said, she looked down the hallway before turning her attention back towards Quinn, though she seemed to be avoiding eye contact, "I'd love to chat but I got to get to class."

"But you've got at least five more minutes until the bell," Quinn responded.

"Yeah, well, I want to get there early so I can ask the teacher something," Rachel said, stuttering a little as she spoke.

"Oh, what do you need to ask," Quinn asked curiously.

Rachel paused for a moment. She shifted her feet around before glancing down the hallway again, "You know, important school stuff." Rachel waved as she took off down the hallway at a pace slightly faster then normal, "I'll see you after school". Quinn didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.

Quinn turned down the hallway in the opposite direction towards her next class. She knew something was up with Rachel. Rachel wasn't very good at hiding her emotions, probably a result of loving something that required you to be so expressive. Quinn planned to find out what it was later, perhaps after they had performed. The rest of the day flew by slowly, Quinn kept looking at the clock, waiting for the end of the school day so she could head to the Glee classroom.

When the final bell did ring Quinn walked quickly to her locker, threw her books into it, and then walked briskly to the Glee room. She was the second to arrive, Tina was already there, going over what looked like the plan for her groups selection. Quinn gave her a little wave before taking a seat to wait for everyone to arrive. The rest of club funneled in quickly after Quinn arrived. Rachel was the last to to show up, Quinn couldn't remember the last time Rachel was the last one to get to class, even Puck was here before her.

Quinn gave Rachel a wave as she enter the room, but she didn't seem to see it as she made a bee line for the seat right next to Finn. Quinn frowned, it was becoming more and more obvious that something was off. Before Quinn could think of it anymore Mr. Shue walked in. He announced that each group would perform in the same order that the captains had picked teams, that would mean Quinn's team would be going second.

Santana's team went first. Puck, Britney, and Santana performed a rendition of Van Morrison's 'Moondance', relying heavily on Puck's vocals as Britney and Santana performed a very seductive dance routine. It was very good, but Quinn didn't think it was better then her teams performance. At the end of the song everyone gave them a round of applause as they sat back down.

"Okay, team 'Quinn' is up next," Mr. Shue announced.

Quinn jump out of her seat and Sam was right behind her. Quinn turned towards Rachel as she moved towards the center of the floor, Rachel hesitated only a moment before slowly getting out of her seat. They had decided that the focal point of their routine would be on the music, but they did have a dance planned out, just not one as elaborate at Santana and Britney's. As the band started to play, and the three of them began to sing, Quinn moved around the room carefully following their simple dance routine. Quinn noticed that Rachel seemed very stiff as she moved. Quinn new that dancing wasn't one of Rachel's strongest talents, but she was better then this.

About halfway through the song Quinn moved behind Rachel, she placed her hands on Rachel's hips in preparation of spinning her around in one of the more advanced moves in their set. But as Quinn put her hands on Rachel's hips Rachel jerked forward away from her, tripping over her own feet, and falling to the ground. The band's play screeched to halt as all the Glee members gasped. Quinn quickly reached out a hand to help her up.

"Don't touch me!" Rachel growled.

"What?" Quinn said, taken aback.

"You pushed me!" Rachel accused, pointing a stern finger at Quinn.

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"How can you say that?"

Rachel paused and looked around the room at everyone. Her face turned red as she got up and ran out of the classroom. Everyone had a shocked look on their face. Finn was out the door a moment later, chasing after his girlfriend.

"Did you push her?" Mr. Shue asked.

"No! I swear," Quinn exclaimed.

Mr. Shue gave her a studying glance before turning back to the class, "Perhaps we should postpone the next two performances until tomorrow."

The other two groups were a little disappointed but accepted it with little argument. Quinn didn't care about the next performances, she couldn't stop thinking about Rachel. What was wrong with her? Why would she accuse Quinn of something she must have known wasn't true? There was no way she could have mistaken Quinn's attempt at spinning her as a push. Quinn was thoroughly confused and more then a little upset, but she wasn't going to leave it at that, she was going to find out what was going on with Rachel.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Rachel laid on her bed, curled up in a ball. She had been in that position since getting home from school, and she had been crying just as long. She thought about what had transpired just a few short hours ago at Glee club. Rachel didn't know why she had freaked out so completely, she had just wanted a little time away from Quinn, to clear her head. But it had gotten totally out of control. Ever since the other day when she had those unexpected feelings about Quinn, Rachel head been a total wreck. It's not that she was afraid of being gay, well, not all because of that. Just because her parents were gay doesn't mean that it was something Rachel would just accept. A person's sexuality is such a huge part of who they are, finding out something new about it is a big step for anymore, and a scary one. The real problem for Rachel was that she loved Finn, she was sure of it. Rachel had spent so long trying to get Finn and make him love her, how could she possibly want someone else so quickly?

No, Rachel was sure that what she had felt for Quinn was just a fleeting fancy, probably from all the time they had spent together recently. That didn't excuse her actions though, but Rachel wasn't sure how she was going to explain herself to Quinn. Not without sounding crazy. Quinn probably wouldn't want to be friends anymore, the thought made Rachel sadder then she wanted it to. Quinn was just a friend, a friend of only a few days, why should she be so devastated if they weren't friends anymore? Things would just return to the way they were a week ago. Rachel told herself she would get over it in no time, though if that was the case why was she still curled up on her bed crying?

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Rachel shot up to a seated position and started wiping the tears off her face.

"Yes?" Rachel called out to whomever the knock belong to.

"It's me, Finn," a faint voice called, "your dads let me in."

Rachel walked over and opened the door. Finn gave her a little smile as he hugged her. Rachel returned the hug in earnest, holding on to him for an unusual amount of time. After awhile Finn just picked her up and carried her into the room, closing the door behind them. At that point Rachel let go.

"Your dads are heading out to do so errands, by the way," Finn said, "they told me to take care of you since it was so obvious that you were upset about something."

Her dads had both come to pick her up from school when she called them for a ride. The whole ride home they had been asking her what she seemed so upset about, but Rachel had kept silent.

Finn walked over to the bed and sat down, "What happened to you today, Rachel?"

Rachel turned away from him, too embarrassed to look him in the eye, "I don't know."

"Did Quinn really push you?"

Rachel paused for a moment, "No."

Finn obviously wasn't expecting that answer, "why did you lie?"

"I don't know!" Rachel said in exasperation, "I just went crazy for a minute, I can't explain it to you."

"But..." Finn began to speak but Rachel cut him off.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it, okay? Did you come here to interrogate me?" Rachel turned around and gave Finn and angry look.

"No! I came to make sure you were alright." Finn said, raising his arms defensively.

Rachel hung her head, feeling an intense amount of shame. Now she was lashing out at Finn, how could she have so little control over her emotions? Finn stood up and walked over to Rachel, wrapping his arms around her. They just stayed like that for awhile. She liked being in Finn's arms, it was comforting. _But it didn't have the same feeling as hugging Quinn_, Rachel thought before catching herself. The momentary laps made Rachel panic. She needed to stop thinking about that, she was with Finn, she loved Finn. Having those thoughts, in her eyes, was just as bad as cheating and she would never do that. She needed to make herself stop thinking what she shouldn't be.

Rachel looked up at Finn and kissed him hard on the lips. As she pulled away from the kiss she grabbed his hand and walked him to the bed, pulling him on top of her as she laid down. She continued to kiss him in that position. After a few moments of making out Rachel moved Finn's right hand onto her chest, biting her lip as he looked at her in confusion.

"Finn?" Rachel whispered.

"Yes?" Finn responded nervously.

"I want you," Rachel said as seductively as she could.

"You...what?"

"I want you right now," Rachel repeated, running her hands along Finn's torso.

"You mean, you want to have sex?" Finn asked in shock.

Rachel sighed, "Yes Finn, I want to have sex. Don't make me say it any clearer then that."

Finn didn't waste anymore time as he began to kiss her and run his hands over her body. Rachel wasn't sure if she was ready to lose her virginity, but she would show herself that she loved Finn. Sex was the ultimate way of showing that you loved someone and Rachel was confident that Finn was the one she wanted to express all her love to. As their clothes started to fall off and Finn started to touch places that Rachel had never let anyone touch, she began to become nervous. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy Finn touching her, it's just that she hated rushing into things and this seemed about as rushed and spontaneous as anything she had ever done. But Rachel stuffed her doubts away into the deepest corners of her mind. She was going to prove her love for Finn, no mater what.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Quinn had debated waiting till school the next day to talk to Rachel, but she realized it was just too easy for Rachel to avoid her there. Plus, Quinn had been sitting at home for a few hours now and no matter what she did she couldn't stop thinking about Rachel. So when her impatience finally reached it's peak Quinn jumped into her car and sped off to Rachel's house. She wasn't sure what she was going to say, she wasn't even sure how she was suppose to be feeling. Should she be angry? Hurt? Sympathetic? Quinn figured she'd know how to feel once she was face to face with Rachel.

Quinn pulled up to Rachel's house. She noticed that there was no car in the driveway and hoped that Rachel wasn't out with her dads. Quinn hopped out of the car and made her way to the door. As she raised her hand to ring the door bell the door swung open. Quinn was shocked to find Finn standing in the doorway, Finn seemed just as shocked to find Quinn on the other side.

"Hey, Finn. What are you doing here?" Quinn asked.

"I just came to see if Rachel was okay," Finn responded, he suddenly seemed to have trouble meeting her eyes.

"Oh, and how is she feeling?"

"Fine, I guess," Finn said. It didn't sound like he seemed too sure.

"What aren't you telling me, Finn?"

Finn, started to look around, as if looking for an escape route. Quinn lifted her hand in front of his face and snapped her fingers.

"Focus, please!" Quinn said, annoyed, "Tell me what's going on."

Finn looked back at her, "I can't tell you. It's private."

Quinn prepared to start yelling, but she stopped herself. He was right, whatever it was it was between Rachel and Finn and was none of her business, "I'm sorry, Finn. I shouldn't be angry with you. It's just...I'm worried about Rachel. You must have notice how out of it she's been the last few weeks."

"I have noticed. I've asked her about it but she wont tell me a thing," Finn said, shaking his head.

"Wait, if she wont tell you then why are you acting like you know something?" Quinn asked.

Finn stepped out of the doorway, past Quinn. He faced away from her, obviously struggling with himself over something. Finally, he seemed to come to a decision.

"We had sex," Finn said quietly.

"You had sex? When?" Quinn asked, suddenly feeling really awkward about the conversation.

"Right now. Well, before you got here," Finn said, blushing slightly.

Quinn cleared her throat, "Why are you telling me this? You were right before, that's very private."

"Normally I wouldn't tell anyone. Well, I might tell a few guys on the football team, but not you," Finn said.

"Then why are you telling me?"

"Because...I thought that afterward I would be feeling amazing. And happy. But all I feel is ashamed"

"Ashamed? Why?" Quinn asked, now more concerned than embarrassed.

"It just didn't feel right. I mean, it was good, don't get me wrong, but she seemed so different. It just wasn't like her."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think she wanted to do it. I don't know why she did, she's always talked about waiting for the right time. But now it seemed like she was doing it just for the sake of doing it. And when we were done she just asked me to leave. As if I had served my purpose," Finn finished in a rush, tears building in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Finn," Quinn said, reaching out her hand to pat him on the shoulder.

Before her hand was halfway there Finn started backing away, "Look, I have to go. Maybe we'll talk another time." Finn turned around and headed up the sidewalk.

Quinn, turned back towards the door to Rachel's house, it still stood ajar. Quinn wasn't sure if she should go in or not, now may not be the best time. But before Quinn could talk herself out of it an overwhelming feeling of concern for Rachel hit her. She walked through the door and closed it behind her. She slowly worked her way up the stairs to Rachel's room. Quinn thought about just walking in, but stopped herself when she realized that there was a very real possibility of Rachel being naked on the other side. That might make the conversation kind of awkward.

So Quinn knocked on the door. She waited a few moments, but there was no response, so she knocked again. Again, the door didn't open. Quinn was about to knock a third time when the door swung open.

"Finn! I told you..." Rachel's voice trailed off as she realized she wasn't talking to Finn. She seemed at a lose, unable to say anything. Tears started to slowly stream down her face before she finally broke down completely, falling to the floor.

Quinn was quick to be at her side. At first she attempted to lift Rachel back to her feet, but only for a moment before she decided just to lay on the floor with her, wrapping her arms around her as she sobbed. They laid there for awhile, until Rachel's sobs turned to whimpers and then finally she stopped crying altogether. At this point Quinn lifted her onto her feet and helped her to the bed, laying her down. Quinn sat next to her on the edge of the bed, holding her hand. Rachel stared at her for a long while, and Quinn just stared back.

Finally, after a long few minutes, Rachel spoke, "I don't deserve you...as a friend."

Quinn, frowned at her, "That's ridiculous, only I get to make that decision and in this case I don't."

"But, the things I did today, they're not what friends do."

"Perhaps not normally, but one might if they were going through something bad. Something that made them act differently then what they normally would," Quinn smiled, "I know deep down you're not a bad person, and whatever reason you had for acting the way you did I'm sure it was something I would easily forgive you for."

Rachel turned away from Quinn. "Finn and I had sex," She said flatly

"I know."

Rachel spun back towards her, "You know? How?"

"Finn was the one who let me in. He told me."

"How could he? That was private," Rachel said, angrily.

"But, you just told me."

"That's different."

"How?"

Rachel's face went through several different expressions before it settled on guilt, "I guess it's not any different."

Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand even tighter, "Rachel, he didn't tell me because he was showing off. He told me because he was afraid that you had sex with him for the wrong reasons and that he may of taken advantage of you."

Rachel looked as if she were about to break out into more tears.

"Is it true Rachel? Did you do it for the wrong reason?"

Rachel pulled her hand away from Quinn's and covered her eyes, as if to try and block out the whole world. "Quinn," Rachel said, softly, "I need to tell you something."

"You can tell me anything, Rachel."

"Finn was right, I didn't have sex with him because I wanted to."

"Then why?"

Rachel took a deep breath before speaking, "Because, I wanted to convince myself that I loved him."

"You don't?"

"No. I mean, I like him, but it isn't love."

"That doesn't seem like a very good reason. Not everyone falls in love at first sight. It takes time. There's nothing wrong with just liking him."

"I know," Rachel said, "And I would have been fine with just liking him if it wasn't for..." Rachel trailed off.

"For what?" Quinn asked.

"If it wasn't for the fact that I loved someone else."

Quinn was taken aback a moment, "Really? Who?"

Rachel just stared at Quinn. Quinn waited, somewhat eagerly, to find out who this guy was. Suddenly Rachel reached out her hand and placed it over Quinn's hand.

"I love you," Rachel said simply.

Quinn felt like she had been hit in the chest with a sledgehammer. She couldn't speak at first, even if she could she had no idea what to say. This was impossible, how could Rachel love her? They had only been friends a few days and, besides that, she was a girl!

"Quinn? Are you alright," Rachel asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Quinn managed to get out.

"Look, I know you don't feel the same way, I can accept that. I just needed to tell you."

Quinn took a few more moments to steady herself before speaking, "You're right, I don't feel the same way. But it's not because you're not a great person. I'm just not gay."

"I didn't think I was either, I still don't think I am, as weird as that sounds" Rachel stared at the ceiling, "I don't think it's a matter of being gay, I just love you, regardless of your gender."

It seemed like now that Rachel had told her a great weight had been lifted from her...and transferred over to Quinn. Quinn knew she wasn't gay, it's not that she had anything against gays. Despite her Cristian upbringing she was pretty okay with gay people, she was friends with Kurt after all. It was just a simple matter of her not being gay.

Rachel broke Quinn out of her thoughts, "So, I guess we can't really be friends anymore."

"What? Why not!" Quinn demanded.

"Well, it would be awkward."

"Perhaps, but just because I don't have romantic feelings for you doesn't mean I don't want to be friends."

"It'll be hard to suppress my feelings."

"I know, but I want to make it work. Can't we just try?"

Rachel seemed thrilled that Quinn was so vehement about staying friends. "Of course we can try," She said with a big smile, the first one Quinn had seen from her all day. Quinn smiled back.

"Good," Quinn said with a firm nod, "Now I say we go down stairs, cook up something to eat, and watch a movie."

Rachel jumped up, "I agree!"

As Quinn and Rachel made their way down stairs, Quinn continued to think about the situation. She hoped that over time maybe Rachel's feeling would fade away, that maybe she was just mistaken about her feelings. But whatever the case may be Quinn was set on being friends with her. She had made a connection with Rachel and she wasn't going to let it slip away over a silly thing like her being in love with Quinn.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The next few weeks went by surprisingly smoothly for Rachel. When she returned to Glee club following her dramatic storm out, everyone accepted her back with little issue. Probably due to Quinn not hiding the fact that they were now friends. Quinn and Rachel spent almost every day together, practicing for Glee, studying in the library, hanging out after school, their friendship was truly blossoming.

All the other members of Glee accepted their friendship though they seemed to be a little confused how it had occurred. To most of them it had looked like one moment the two girls had hated each other and now they were best friends. Either way, neither one of them cared what the others thought. If their friendship looked weird, well, so be it.

The more the two of them spent together the more they learned about each other. Quinn learned that Rachel was a good cook, that she liked to watch classic movies, and that she had a deep seeded fear of clowns. Rachel learned that Quinn like to read, that she liked to sleep in as much as she could, and that she liked to eat Rachel's cooking. Rachel would accuse Quinn of only coming over to her house to eat her food, and Quinn would deny it with a large mouth full of what ever Rachel had just made.

As far as Rachel's feelings for Quinn, that didn't come up much, which Rachel was grateful for. Quinn seemed to have put the knowledge of Rachel's true feelings for her into the back of her mind. Perhaps she thought that over time Rachel would get over her feelings and eventually only love her like friends do. Rachel wasn't so sure that would ever happen. It seemed to her that every time she started feeling like maybe her feelings where just those of friendship Quinn would do something that would make her heart beat faster and cause her to become all befuddled.

But Rachel kept her feelings to herself. She was afraid that she might scare Quinn off she made her feelings too obvious. It made Rachel sad sometimes but she knew this was just the way it was. She couldn't make Quinn like her and she could never fault her for it. It's not as if Quinn rejected her out of spite, she just didn't feel the same way, that's life sometimes. Rachel was just glad that Quinn still wanted to be a part of her life. Rachel still hoped, deep down, that maybe Quinn would change her mind. But every time that thought came to the front of her mind she would scold herself for getting her hopes up.

As far as her relationship with Finn, it still existed. She still cared about him, even if she did have stronger feelings for someone else. If Quinn had returned her feelings she would have broken up with Finn, even if it would have been hard. But since she would never be with Quinn she felt there was no reason to break up with Finn. Perhaps, eventually, her feelings for Finn would grow to match what she felt for Quinn. There was no rule that said you could love only one person.

When she saw Finn the next day after having sex with him she had a long talk with him. She told him that she hadn't been herself lately, which he said he was aware of. He tried to apologize for taking advantage of her but Rachel refused to hear it. She was a big girl and was old enough to make her own decisions. She felt that there was absolutely no fault to be put on Finn and it wasn't his responsibility to read her mind to find out what she was truly feeling.

Of course, the biggest scare had been that they had not used any protection. Rachel had been terrified for over a week before she got her monthly flow. She had never been so happy to get it. She didn't know what she would have done if she had gotten pregnant. There was no way she was ready for that, especially not after watching what happened with Quinn's pregnancy. Finn had been equally happy to hear that she was not pregnant. Though even after that had blown over he was still concerned about her and what had made her be so out of character.

When Finn tried to find out what had been wrong with her she informed him that it was something personal and that it had been resolved. He wasn't stupid though, he knew it had something to do with Quinn. He took a few wild stabs at what the problem could have been, obviously getting no where near the right answer, before Rachel firmly put an end to that game. He was a little disappointed that she wouldn't confide in him about what had transpired but he said he accepted it and would not bring it up again.

So things got back to a state of normalcy. Rachel refocused her efforts on Glee and helping to get the team to Nationals. The other members in the club started to accept her more then ever before. Rachel wasn't sure why. Maybe Rachel had become less abrasive, maybe they were starting to feel sorry for her, or maybe it had do to with Quinn giving them a sharp look or a harsh word every time anyone even thought about saying something mean to Rachel. She wasn't sure how she felt about Quinn being so protective of her. On the one hand it made her feel loved, but on the other hand Rachel felt that she shouldn't need Quinn to be her knight in shinning armor...or princess in lacy, frilly armor. Rachel knew she needed to be able to stand up for herself, but she just didn't feel like she had the self confidence yet to do that. Perhaps one day she wouldn't need other people to protect her, but for now it was comforting.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Quinn took the bag of freshly popped popcorn out of the microwave and tore it open, a wave of hot steam puffed out at her. She waved the steam out of her face than grabbed a bowl to poor the the popcorn into. She took the bowl into the living room where Rachel sat on the couch fiddling with the DVD remote. Quinn had found that Rachel could be a little inept when it came to technology. Placing the bowl on the table, Quinn took the remote from Rachel and gave her a pat on the head. With a few quick button presses the movie started playing. Rachel feigned irritation, brushing her hair back and then crossing her arms in a huff. Quinn gave her playful nudge before sitting down next to her on the couch.

"What are we watching again?" Quinn asked.

"Guys and Dolls, it's one of my favorites," Rachel responded, nudging her back.

"Let me guess, another musical?"

Rachel gave a sly smile before turning back to the TV. Quinn rolled her eyes at her before turning to the TV as well. Every time Rachel got to pick the movie it was always a musical. It was as if she refused to watch a movie unless there was singing and dancing in it. At first it had been nice, Quinn hadn't seen a lot of musicals and she found she had definitely been missing out. It was getting kind of old now though, but she put up with it because it made Rachel happy.

As the movie started playing the two girls ate their way through the popcorn. As usual Rachel would sing along with every musical number while Quinn sat there smiling at her. Rachel never seemed to miss and opportunity to sing, which Quinn was fine with. She doubted anyone could complain about listening to Rachel's voice, it was amazing.

Part way through the movie Quinn worked her way into a more comfortable position, stretching out on the couch, her head laying on Rachel's lap. The first time Quinn had done that she regretted it immediately, feeling that Rachel might take it the wrong way. But Rachel acted like it was no big deal, so Quinn now did it regularly. As the ending credits started to roll Quinn was asleep, it wasn't that the movie was bad, just that she was very tired.

Suddenly she was standing in a field, it was a bright sunny day and the field was filled with roses. She started to make her way through the field, which seemed to stretch on forever. Without warning she came upon a small pond, the water was so clear she could see right down to the bottom. When she looked up from the pond she saw Rachel on the other side, she was looking into the pond as well. Quinn blinked and suddenly Rachel was stand right in front of her. Rachel reached out her hands towards Quinn's face, just as her hand made contact Quinn woke up.

Quinn looked up to see Rachel looking down at her. Quinn could feel Rachel's hand running through her blond hair, it was very soothing. Rachel gave a start when she noticed the Quinn was awake and pulled her hand away. Quinn felt a moment of disappointment before wondering why she would feel that way. She glanced at the TV and saw that it was off.

"How long have I been asleep," Quinn asked, moving into a seated position.

"Well, the movie ended about a half hour ago, so that would depend on when you lost interest in the movie," Rachel said, moving her now free legs around.

"Hey, I was enjoying the movie! I was just tired. Why didn't you wake me up when it ended?"

"You looked peaceful. I would have felt bad waking you up."

"And what if I decided to sleep straight through the night?"

"Then I guess we'd be sleeping together," Rachel said, for a moment not realizing how that sounded.

Quinn raised an eyebrow at Rachel. Rachel gave a her a quizzical look before a look of realization came on her face and she turned bright red. "You know what I meant!" Rachel said, getting up quickly to move away from Quinn.

"Right, of course," Quinn said. It suddenly felt a little awkward in the room. This was the first time in awhile that even the thought of Rachel's feelings for her had come up between them. Quinn grabbed the mostly empty bowl of popcorn and went into the kitchen to clean it. Rachel followed her into the kitchen, but just stood at the doorway, watching her.

"I guess I should probably get going," Rachel said after a few moments.

"Already? It's only 8:30," Quinn said.

"Yeah, I have stuff to do tomorrow," Rachel said, looking at the ground. Rachel always did that when she was hiding something.

"Well, if you have to go."

Rachel flashed her an obviously forced smile before turning towards the front door. Quinn just stood in the Kitchen for a few seconds before running out after her, "Rachel, wait!" She said, more urgently then she meant to. Rachel stopped, her hand resting on the door knob. She didn't turn around though.

"Don't go yet, please," Quinn begged.

"I think it's best if I do," Rachel said, sadness in her voice.

"It was just a slip of the tongue. In any other situation we'd be laughing at how silly you are."

"But this isn't any other situation. In this case I said it and the first thing that went through your head was 'oh no, she wants to sleep with me'." Rachel said, finally turning to face Quinn.

"Okay, you're right. I did panic a little. But you know I'm trying. I can't guarantee I'll never say or do the wrong thing on occasion, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be friends. If being your friend required the occasional awkward situation then I'm more than ready to deal with it." Quinn stepped closer to Rachel as she finished.

"I just wish there weren't any awkward situations," Rachel said, taking her hand off the door.

"Maybe one day that'll happen, but for now we just need to deal with them." Quinn had finally moved close enough to grab Rachel's arm. "Now, why don't you come into the kitchen and you can cook me up something nice."

Rachel pulled her arm away from Quinn. "No!" Quinn flinched at Rachel's exclamation, "I think this time you should cook for me," Rachel said with a grin.

Quinn smiled back, "Fine, but be ready for the worst meal of your life." Both girls giggled as they made their way back into the kitchen.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Rachel sat in the Glee classroom, waiting for everyone to arrive. Kurt, Mercedes and Artie were already there, waiting along with her. Artie was trying to show them a new move he had learned to do in his wheel chair, but it seemed it wasn't quite working how he'd planed. Others started to make their way in over the next few minutes, Finn came in and sat down next to her. Rachel kissed him and held his hand as they continued to wait. Puck strolled in next, giving everyone a quick nod before sitting in the back. Tina and Mike came in next, arm in arm, and gave everyone a synchronized greeting.

"Hey, Rachel? You coming to Puck's party tonight?" Tina asked as she and Mike sat down behind them.

"What party?" Rachel responded.

"Puck! You didn't tell her?" Tina yelled, giving Puck a dirty look.

"Right, must have slipped my mind," Puck said calmly, not even bothering to look at Tina.

"Why didn't you tell her, Finn?" Tina said turning her attention at him.

"I guess I assumed she already new," Finn said, giving Rachel and apologetic look.

"Well, anyway," Tina continued, "I was thinking you and Finn could ride together with Mike and I."

"I guess, does Quinn know about this party?" Rachel asked.

"She should, I know Sam said he was going, so I'd imagine he's already told Quinn." Tina said, taking another glance at Puck who now had his had down, trying to sleep.

At this point everyone had shown up except Sam and Quinn. Britney and Santana had walked in unnoticed and were giggling off in the corner, "Speaking of Sam and Quinn, where are they?" Rachel asked no one in particular.

"I saw Quinn crying while I was passing the girls bathroom a few minutes ago," Britney said, in her normal vapid voice.

"What! Did you see what was wrong?" Rachel asked, now worried.

"No, I thought they were happy tears," Britney responded.

"Why did you think that?"

Britney paused for a moment, "I don't know," she finally said.

Rachel was on her feet and out the door as fast as she could move. She ran down to the girls bathroom and swung open the door. There she saw Quinn, over a sink, splashing water on her face. Quinn looked up when Rachel entered, her eyes were red.

"Quinn, what's wrong?" Rachel asked moving to her and placing a hand on her arm.

"Sam...he cheated on me," Quinn said softly, her lip trembling.

"What? How do you know?"

"I overheard one of the other Cheerios saying she had slept with him last night."

"How do you know she was telling the truth?" Rachel asked.

"Because I confronted Sam afterward and he confessed pretty quickly," Quinn leaned down to splash more water on her face.

"What a jerk. How could he do that? Why would anyone want someone else when they had you?" Anger was boiling up inside Rachel.

"He said I wasn't spending enough time with him."

"That's outrageous! It's not like just because you're dating you have to spend all your free time with him."

"He was right though. I wasn't spending a lot of time with him. How could I when I was spending all my time with you?" Quinn asked, looking into Rachel's eyes.

Rachel's heart started to beat faster at Quinn's look. "Well, that's still no excuse to sleep with someone else."

"It's not even that I'm really angry or sad that Sam chose someone else," Quinn said, turning around leaning up against the sink, "it's just that I'm so terrible at keeping a boyfriend."

"That's not true," Rachel said, consoling her.

"Yes it is. I can't keep Finn because I'm too much of a slut, I can't keep Puck because I'm not enough of a slut, and now I can't keep Sam because I'm just not a very good girlfriend."

"Quinn, please don't say those things. You're a wonderful person, you're caring and smart and funny and beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have you," Rachel reached out and took Quinn's hands in hers, "Have you made mistakes? Of course, everyone has. I've definitely made my fair share. And neither of us is done making mistakes. But that doesn't mean you're a bad person or a terrible girlfriend and it sure has hell doesn't excuse Sam for being an asshole!"

Quinn smiled at Rachel, "I don't think I've ever heard you swear before."

That threw Rachel off for a moment, "Well, I'm allowed to when I'm angry."

Quinn leaned forward and hugged Rachel, "You're allowed to do anything you want, as long as you don't stop being wonderful."

Rachel's heart felt like it was melting. She could have died right then and been perfectly fine with it. But as much as she wanted to she knew they couldn't stay like this forever. Rachel pulled away and started fixing Quinn's hair which had become disheveled from her splashing water on her face. Once Quinn looked less like she had dunked her head into a bucket of water they left the bathroom and started making their way back to the Glee classroom.

"Are you coming to Puck's party tonight?" Rachel asked as they made their way down the hallway.

"I don't know, I'm not sure I'm up to it." Quinn said.

"Please! Finn and I will be going with Tina and Mike, you can come with us."

"I don't want to be a third wheel. Or a fifth wheel. Or any type of wheel."

"You wont be, I swear. Please come," Rachel gave Quinn her best puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, fine, I'll come. But you can't make me have fun," Quinn said with a smile.

"That sounds like a challenge," Rachel said with a glint in her eye.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Quinn was squished up against the door in the backs seat of Tina's tiny car. Rachel sat in the middle, pressed up against her and Finn was to Rachel's right. Mike was in the passenger seat and Tina, who was the only one besides Quinn who had a license, was driving. Quinn began to think it would have been better if they had taken her car, it was big enough to actually fit five people comfortably. At least sitting up against Rachel wasn't so bad, she had gotten so use to being in close vicinity to her, and as usual she smell great. But that didn't mean she wouldn't mind having enough room to swing her elbows out.

Rachel turned towards Quinn, "You alright?"

"Yeah, just getting a little claustrophobic in here," Quinn responded.

"Hey, you could fit at least three more people back there," Tina yelled from the front.

"Yeah, maybe children", Finn said, his knees were almost to his chest.

"Well, we're almost there anyway," Tina said, seeming slightly offended about the negative comments about her car.

Rachel leaned closer to Quinn and whispered in her ear, "I hope you don't feel like I forced you to come out tonight. I just think you should have a little fun."

"No, of course I don't think that," Quinn whispered back, "I guess sitting at home alone, eating a whole tub of ice cream wouldn't do me any good."

"You're right, it wouldn't," Rachel said with a nod, "tonight you'll be surrounded by friends and I guarantee a good time."

Quinn giggled, "So do I get my money back if I don't enjoy myself?"

"Does that mean I'm getting paid for this?" Rachel retorted.

"Yes, a dollar an hour."

"Pfft, what is this, a sweat shop?"

The girls broke into laughter as they pulled up to Puck's house. Finding a parking place on the street, the group of five made their way to the front door of Puck's house. The door was wide open as they walked inside. The place was already pretty packed and the music was blaring. Quinn expect that the most likely conclusion to this party would probably be the cops showing up due to noise complaints. Once through the door Tina grabbed Mike and was off to the center of the living room where the furniture had been pushed away to make room for a dance area. Rachel was eying the dance floor as well, she gave Finn a little wink and he grinned back at her. Quinn was already starting to feel like a third wheel.

"Hey," Quinn yelled to get Rachel's attention over the music, "I'm going to walk around and mingle."

"Are you sure?" Rachel yelled back.

"Yeah, you kids have fun," Quinn yelled as she walked away.

Quinn worked her way around the house, she saw a lot of people from school as well as a lot of people she didn't even know. Party crashers most likely, though she doubted Puck would care. Quinn spied Britney and Santana off in a corner, each making out with a random guy, though despite their tongues being busy they still had their pinky's hooked together. Those two were inseparable. Quinn also saw Artie, he had a girl that Quinn recognized from her science class on his lap. He apparently knew how to work his disability.

Quinn finally found herself at the drinks table. There was a large bowl of punch. Quinn grabbed a cup and used the ladle to pour a small bit into her cup. She took a sip to be sure it had not been spiked before filling the rest of her cup. She knew at some point someone was going to put something into the punch, but it hadn't happened yet.

"Hey, girl," A voice said behind her. Quinn turned around to find Puck standing there.

"It seems your party is going well," Quinn said, trying to make casual conversation.

"Yeah, it's alright. It'll be bangin' once things get into full swing," Puck said, surveying his party as if he could already see what things would be like later in the night.

"I'm sure it'll be great, I don't know if I'll be sticking around for that," Quinn said, already feeling ready to go home.

"Oh, come on babe, you just need to loosen up, here," Puck pulled out a small bottle of rum, "Why don't I refresh your drink."

"No, I'm good..." Quinn's words trailed off as she saw Sam walk through the front door. He was with the Cheerio he had slept with. Quinn turned away in disgust.

"You okay?" Puck asked, oblivious as to what had caused the change in her temperament.

"Yeah...you know what? I will take some of your medicine," Quinn said, holding her cup out to Puck. He gave her a little grin before pouring rum in all the way up to the edge of the cup.

The rest of the night was sort of a blur. She danced, she talked to everyone who would talk to her, she danced some more. She saw Rachel a few times with Finn, but always left her alone, she didn't want to interrupt their time together. She also saw Sam a lot, she stayed clear of him as well, there was no need to start a scene here. But mostly what she remembered was Puck refilling her cup regularly and him making the occasional pass at her, which she turned down every time. She may have gotten drunk, but not so drunk to forget how she got pregnant.

Quinn wasn't sure how long she had been at the party, but eventually it came to a point where she was completely worn out. She started making her way up the stairs to try and find someplace quiet to lay down. She didn't make it all the way up before she had to sit down a rest a moment. It wasn't long before she was a sleep on the stairs.

Quinn found herself in the giant field of roses again. Her first thought was to look around and find Rachel, Quinn was lost in this field but she knew that Rachel could help her. She wondered around, trying to find the pond from last time. But no matter how hard she looked all she could find were more and more roses. She finally gave up and collapsed to the ground. She just sat there, defeated. Suddenly she heard a voice calling here.

"Quinn," the voice echoed.

Quinn looked around but could not find the source. "Quinn!" The voice said again, now louder. "Quinn!" this time Quinn recognized the voice as Rachel's, but she could not see her. Finally Quinn looked up, and there she was. Rachel's head was floating in the sky, calling for her. Despite the odd situation, it made Quinn happy.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Rachel was having a great time. Pretty much the moment she walked through the door she was dancing, with Finn mostly although on occasion she found herself dancing with Tina as well as Kurt. Kurt had apparently found a cute guy who was too drunk to hide his desire to dance with him, which of course delighted Kurt to no end. The only think that kept the night from being perfect was Quinn, or more specifically, the lack of Quinn. Once Quinn had gone off to mingle Rachel didn't see her again for a while until she suddenly appeared on the dance floor with a random guy. She seemed to be having a good time, which Rachel was glad of.

But as the night went on Rachel began to notice Quinn stumbling a little bit every so often. Rachel started to fear that maybe Quinn had been drinking. Puck had offered Rachel some adult beverages earlier in the night but she had refused and she had hoped that Quinn would do the same. When Rachel did see Quinn she would try to make her way through the thick throng of people to try and talk to her. But every time she tired, by the time she got to where Quinn had been, she was gone.

It worried Rachel, but at the same time, as long as she kept seeing her come back to the dance floor Rachel would just deal with it. She tried to focus on having a good time despite her worrying about Quinn. She hadn't spent a whole lot of time with Finn since becoming friends with Quinn, and he had been very understanding of it. He deserved to have her attention, he was her boyfriend after all.

When the clock struck three o'clock the party started to quickly wind down, much to Puck's disappointment. He had planned for the party to go on till dawn since his family was out of town till tomorrow. Tina and Mike met up with Rachel and Finn and they discussed heading home. Tina had promised her parents she would be back by one, she knew she was going to be killed in the morning. Finn also had a curfew, though he wouldn't break it for about a half hour.

"We just need to find Quinn and we can head out," Rachel said.

"I haven't seen her for awhile," Tina responded, the boys nodded their heads as their own response.

"Yeah, me too," Rachel said, now worried. They did a quick look of the party area and could not find her. They checked outside as well, but there was no sign of her. They tried calling her cell phone but there was no answer. Rachel began to panic.

"I really need to get home," Tina said, "She probably caught a ride with someone else."

"Yeah," Finn agreed, "she didn't really want to be here anyway, she probably got a ride home hours ago."

"Without telling us? I don't think she would just leave like that," Rachel said, worry in her voice.

"I really need to go, too," Finn said, glancing at his watch.

Rachel was a little disappointed with them for being so selfish. "Okay, you guys can go, I'm going to keep looking for Quinn."

"But how will you get home?" Tina asked.

"I'll catch a ride off of someone or call a taxi," Rachel said, "I'll be fine."

Tina and Finn were both hesitant to leave her there, but Rachel eventually convinced them to go. Once they were gone she headed back into the house to find Quinn. After making a few more circuits of the ground floor and asking a few party stragglers if they had seen Quinn, Rachel decided to head up the stairs. She was afraid to look up stairs since, if she was up there, more then likely she would be with someone in one of the bedrooms. It didn't take her long to find her though. Almost near the top of the stairs she found Quinn sitting on one of the steps, he face up against the banister, fast asleep.

Rachel gave her shoulder a nudge but she didn't wake up. "Quinn," Rachel called, Quinn didn't even stir, "Quinn!" Rachel said again, louder. Quinn began to squirm a little, "Quinn!" Rachel called again. Finally Quinn's eyes opened a little and she looked up at Rachel. Rachel smiled down at her in relief and Quinn gave her a beautiful smile in return.

"Rachel," Quinn said, a slight slur in her voice, "There are so many roses."

Rachel gave Quinn a quizzical look, "Right, roses." Rachel grabbed Quinn's arms helped her to her feet. "We need to go home, I'll call us a cab."

"No! Can't we just stay here?" Quinn asked, "There are some beds upstairs."

"I don't think those beds are for us," Rachel said, trying to get her to come down the stairs.

"Oh, phooey! Puck wont mind. Please? I'm really tired."

Rachel sighed, "fine, if there's an empty room, we'll sleep a few hours there before calling a taxi."

Quinn smiled in victory as they climbed the rest of the stairs. The first room they came to ended up being Pucks little sister room. There were two people making out in the small twin size bed. Rachel closed the door in disgust. The second door they tried was Puck's room. Despite wanting to party till dawn Puck was fast asleep in his bed. The final room they came to was Puck's mother's room. It was surprisingly empty, Rachel would have thought the couple making out would have preferred the queen sized bed in this room.

Rachel pulled Quinn into the room, closing the door behind them. She laid Quinn down on the bed and removed her shoes before taking off her own and climbing in next to her. Quinn cuddled into Rachel, despite not wanting to be here Rachel definitely couldn't complain about a chance to cuddle with Quinn.

"Where's everyone else?" Quinn asked quietly. Still sounding very drunk.

"They went home," Rachel responded.

"Why didn't you go?"

"Because I didn't want to leave without making sure you were okay."

Quinn paused at that before speaking, "you're a true friend, Rachel."

Rachel smiled, "I try."

Quinn sat up so she was looking down at Rachel, "I mean it, I don't know how I got by without you before. But now that you're my friend I can't imagine life without you."

Rachel blushed fiercely. They stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other. Then suddenly Quinn leaned forward and kissed Rachel on the lips. It was a quick peck, but it was enough. Quinn pulled back only a few inches before Rachel grabbed the back of her head and pulled her in for a deeper kiss. Quinn's mouth seemed confused over the situation, constantly switching from stiff and unmoving to passionate. After a few moments it became all passion. They kissed for what seem like hours before Quinn started moving her hands down from Rachel's face to her her shirt. She grabbed a fist full of material and tried to drunkenly lift the shirt over Rachel's head.

After a few failed attempt Rachel helped her pull it off and then pulled Quinn's shirt off for her as well. Quinn then started fumbling with Rachel's bra, she had about as much success as she had with her shirt. Quinn finally gave up on the bra and moved her hands down to try and undo Rachel's jeans. It was at this point that Rachel snapped out of her moment of lust. She pushed Quinn off of her, Quinn groaned in protest.

"We can't do this," Rachel forced herself to say.

"Why!" Quinn demanded.

"Well, for one, you're drunk. You don't know what your doing."

"I am not drunk," Quinn said, then tried to brush some hair out of her face but only ended up hitting herself in the chin.

"Even if you weren't drunk, I'm still dating Finn. If I slept with you now it would be no different than what Sam did to you."

Quinn looked at her for a long time before flopping down on the bed, "Fine," She said, sounding very disappointed.

Rachel sighed before laying down beside her. It wasn't long before Quinn was asleep, sleep didn't come as easily to Rachel. It had taken all of her will power to stop kissing Quinn, she still had the urge to kiss her now. She knew she couldn't, it would be unfair to Finn, it would be unfair to Quinn, and it would be unfair to Rachel, herself. Rachel hoped that Quinn would just forget about the whole incident in the morning. Rachel didn't expect that when she woke up Quinn would be expressing her love to her, if she did remember what happened she'd probably just thank her for stopping it. Then their friendship would be even more awkward then it already was. Yes, it would be best if Quinn just forgot the whole night.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Quinn woke up to the sun shining right into her eyes. She grabbed the pillow next to her and covered her face with it. Her head was ponding and she felt like she might sick up if she tried to move. After laying there for a few minutes, letting her stomach settle, she became bold enough to remove the pillow from her face. A wave a nausea hit her before she forced it down. Quinn looked around the empty, unfamiliar room, trying to remember where she was and how she had gotten there. She finally saw a picture on the night stand of Puck and his mom from when he looked to be about twelve, she was in Puck's moms room, apparently.

That's when Quinn noticed she wasn't wearing a shirt, a bra, but no shirt. Fear built up in her as she tried to remember what had happened last night. She remembered seeing Puck a lot, he had kept refilling her drinks. She now started to wonder what else she had done with Puck last night, apparently getting knocked up once while drunk wasn't lesson enough for her.

Suddenly Quinn heard footsteps in the hallway. She tensed, waiting to see who would come through the door. The door swung open to reveal Rachel, Quinn let out a tremendous breath that she had not realized she was holding. Rachel avoided Quinn's eyes as she made her way to the side of the bed, holding a glass of water. She handed it to Quinn with a quick smile before moving away to lean on the dresser.

"I thought you might be thirsty when you woke," Rachel explained, gesturing at the water.

Quinn took a sip, she was really thirsty, "Thank you," She smiled, but stopped when she realized that smiling just made her head hurt even more.

"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked.

"Like someone dropped a pile of bricks on me, and the bricks were on fire, and also covered with anthrax."

"I can see if I can find some aspirin," Rachel said, moving towards the door.

"No, I'm fine. I just need a minute," Quinn started looking around the room for her shirt, "Where's my shirt?"

Rachel leaned forward and picked up Quinn's shirt off the floor. She tossed it to Quinn who grabbed it and started pulling it on.

"Why did I take my shirt off?" Quinn asked.

"People do silly things when they're drunk," Rachel responded.

"I guess you're right. At least I didn't try to sleep with anyone." Quinn said with a laugh. Rachel didn't laugh. Instead she turned around and started fixing her hair in the mirror above the dresser.

"Did something happen last night?" Quinn asked Rachel. Rachel didn't answer, staying busy with her hair. Quinn started to wonder what horrible thing she had done that Rachel wouldn't tell her. "Was it something with Tina? Is that why she didn't drive us home?" Rachel still didn't answer. She was struggling with the knots in her hair, as if the knots were a reflection of the struggle that was going on in her head right now.

As Quinn's head started to clear she began to remember little snippets of last night. She remembered dancing with some guys from the football team periodically throughout the night. She also remembered seeing Sam a few times, each time she saw him Puck seemed to always be there with another refill for her cup. She remembered waking up on the stairs and Rachel helping her to bed, though she couldn't remember at what point her shirt came off.

"Thanks for helping me last night, I'd probably still be asleep on the stairs if not for you," Quinn said, wishing Rachel would turn around and look at her.

"You shouldn't drink like that, Quinn," Rachel suddenly scolded, still not looking at her.

"It's not like I'm an alcoholic," Quinn said, defensively.

Rachel finally turned around and looked at her, concern in her eyes. "That's irrelevant. You scared me last night. You were drunk and I couldn't find you. I didn't know if you were at home safe or dead in a ditch somewhere!"

"I think you're overreacting," Quinn said.

"I'm not! I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you."

"I'm sorry, Rachel," Quinn felt ashamed for making Rachel worry about her. "Look, I promise to never drink again," She raised two fingers, "scouts honor."

Rachel looked at her for a second. "I doubt you'll keep that promise, but apology accepted," Rachel gave Quinn a smile, "now get up, I called us a cab and it should be here soon."

Quinn started to push herself off the bed before her strength gave and she fell back onto it, "Um...I might need some help getting up."

With a cute sigh Rachel came over and helped Quinn to her feet. Quinn hung onto Rachel, using Rachel to support most of her body weight so she wouldn't fall to the floor. The sudden closeness to Rachel brought back more memories. She saw Rachel, laying on the bed, looking at her with pure lust in her eyes. She saw Rachel pulling her her own shirt off and throwing it to the floor. She also saw Rachel pushing her away. Despite it only being flashes of last night, those memories made it pretty clear what had happened. Rachel had tried to sleep with Quinn, but had stopped herself.

Quinn wasn't sure how to feeling. On the one hand she should be angry at Rachel for trying to taking advantage of her, but on the other hand she did stop herself. That has to count for something. These sudden memories had caused Quinn to stop moving, Rachel was looking at her with a questioning expression.

Quinn decided she was not in the clearest state of mind right now for this line of discussion and decided to keep her memories of last night to herself, for now. She allowed Rachel to help her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. The cab was already waiting outside when they stepped out into the cool morning air. Rachel insisted on paying the cab fee herself. They went to Quinn's house first, where Rachel helped her to the door.

At the door Quinn was tempted to say something, and Rachel looked like she was ready to hear it. Quinn thought that Rachel must have figured out by now that Quinn remembered what had happened last night. But Quinn still hadn't figured out what to say about it. She leaned forward and gave Rachel a reassuring hug before turning and going into her house.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Rachel sat in her room, staring blankly at the wall. It had been a few hours since she had been dropped off by the cab, most of that time she had spent just sitting here. Her head was so mixed up right now, it was a constant fight to come to any kind of reasonable decision about anything that was going on her life. Last night, at the party, had changed everything. She knew now that there was no way she could just be friends with Quinn. But she didn't know what that meant for her. Quinn had made it clear that she had no interest in her outside of friendship, but how would you explain last night? Quinn had obviously been conflicted last night, at least at first, but eventually she seemed to be just as into as Rachel. Had Quinn been so drunk she didn't know what she was doing or who she was doing it with, or had the alcohol lowered Quinn's inhibitions and allowed her to do something she truly wanted to do.

Rachel was sure that Quinn remembered what happened last night. She expected Quinn to bring it up the next time they saw each other, Rachel was scared of what she would say. Rachel expected Quinn to do what she had been doing since they became friends, reaffirming that she wants to just be friends. But Rachel just couldn't accept that, if that was the speech that Quinn gave her then Rachel would have no choice but to break off their friendship. She was incapable of just being friends with her.

There was a sudden knock at the door, "Come," Rachel called to the person she knew was behind the door.

Finn came in and closed the door behind him. Rachel stood up and hugged him and Finn gave her a big hug in return.

"I'm glad you got home from the party safely last night, I was worried," Finn said, they both sat on the bed.

"Yeah, we took a cab."

"Oh, so does that mean you found Quinn?" Finn asked in surprise.

"Yes, she was still at the party."

"Oh, I guess it's a good thing you stayed behind. You're a better friend to her than the rest of us," Finn said, smiling at her. Rachel looked away to keep him from seeing the look of sadness on her face.

"Rachel, is something wrong?" Finn asked.

"Yes, there is," Rachel turned back towards Finn, "We need to talk about something serious."

"What is it?" Finn asked, concerned.

"I've been a terrible girlfriend," Rachel said, tears starting to fill her eyes.

"What? No, you've been great!" Finn reassured her.

"No, I haven't. I haven't been giving you my all," tears started to stream down her face.

Finn pulled Rachel into him, "Okay, maybe you've seemed a little distracted lately, distant. But I'm willing to work through it. What ever the trouble is we can work it out."

"I haven't been honest with you," Rachel said, pushing Finn away.

"Honest about what?"

"I can't tell you. And as long as I can't tell you then this isn't going to work. How can you be in a relationship without honesty?" Rachel sobbed as she finished talking.

"Rachel, what are you say?" Finn said, his whole body stiffened.

"I think we need to break up."

"What? No! We can figure this out. We can make this work!" Finn stood up and started pacing across the room.

"It's not that simple," Rachel said, "I can't explain it but we just can't be together right now."

"How can you just throw this on me like this? Not even giving me a chance to fix things," Finn stopped pacing to look at her.

"It's not something you can fix. It's something wrong with me and until I figure it out it would be wrong for me to date anyone. I don't want to hurt you."

"You don't want to hurt me? You're hurting me right now!" Finn exclaimed.

"This is the easiest way I could do this. I promise you, I'm saving you a lot of pain by doing this now." Rachel reached out to touch his arm, but Finn pulled away.

"This is ridiculous, I can't believe you would do this. I thought you were different from other girls, Rachel. But now I see that you're just as cruel and uncaring as any of them." Rachel flinched at his harsh words. It looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he gave her one last huff and then stormed out of Rachel's room. Rachel stood there a moment, shaking. She hadn't expected it to go much better then that, but it still hadn't prepared her for it.

She felt horrible for doing this to Finn, but even if he didn't know it, this was for the best. If she couldn't give herself to him fully than it was better if they just weren't together at all. Maybe one day they could be together again, when she figured out her situation with Quinn, but until then she couldn't be with Finn or anyone else.

Rachel laid down on her bed and just stared at the ceiling, her mind was still running a mile a minute and it was giving her a headache. Suddenly her cell phone started ringing. Rachel picked it up and looked at the caller ID, it was Quinn. Rachel let it ring a few more times, afraid to answer it. Finally she pressed the button to answer the call.

"Hello?" Rachel said, softly.

There was a momentary pause before she received a response, "Hey, Rachel, it's Quinn."

"Hey, Quinn. How are you feeling?" Rachel attempted to force small talk.

"I'm better, thanks."

"So, why are you calling?" Rachel asked despite being pretty sure of the answer.

"We need to talk Rachel." Quinn said with firmness in her voice.

"About what?"

"Not on the phone. If you're not busy I'd like to come byso we can talk in person." It was all Rachel could do not to start crying. Quinn sounded all business, her voice had little emotion in it right now.

"Okay," Rachel said softly.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

"I'll be here, Quinn."

Quinn hung up without saying goodbye.


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. A combination of work and having no idea where this story should go after chapter 17.**

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

As Quinn pulled up to Rachel's house she noticed that Rachel was already outside, sitting on her front stoop. Quinn parked in front of the house and got out of her car. Rachel was looking at her as she approached. Normally she would give Quinn a big friendly smile, but she didn't this time. Quinn could already tell this was not going to go smoothly. Quinn sat down next to Rachel on the stoop and just stared straight ahead, Rachel turn to look in the same direction. They both sat like that for a few moments, neither of them wanting to start the inevitable conversation.

Finally, Quinn spoke, "I think you know why I want to talk to you." Quinn spoke softly, not wanting to come off as aggressive.

"I do," Rachel responded.

"I don't really know what to say, I just..." Quinn began, but Rachel cut her off.

"Stop. Just stop. I can't do this anymore!" Rachel's eyes became glossy with tears.

"Do what?" Quinn asked, taken aback.

"I can't be your friend," Rachel turned to look into Quinn's eyes, "I can't just hide these feelings anymore, it's too painful. I thought maybe it could work out, maybe how I felt about you would change. But it didn't, it only got stronger. I love you, Quinn, and I can't pretend we're just friends just so I can be near you."

Quinn wasn't expecting this reaction. Every time she played out this conversation in her head it always ended with them both saying they want to be friends. She hadn't thought that this could end like this. "Rachel, you made a mistake last night, it happens. We can make this work!"

"Mistake? Last night wasn't a mistake. I didn't fall onto your lips. We kissed. I wanted to kiss you. I still want to kiss you, that's never going to change," Tears were starting to stream down Rachel's face, "And this isn't all about me! I can't read you. Sometimes when I'm with you it seems like you couldn't care less that I'm around, and then other times I feel like you're sending me signs. Signs that you want to be more than just friends."

Quinn was confused, "I'm giving you signs?" Quinn hadn't really paid attention to the way she acted around Rachel, but she was pretty sure she wasn't giving her any kind of mixed signals. Rachel must be confused.

"Yes! Sometimes the way you touch me, the way you look at me, the things you say to me, they all make me think that maybe I have a chance with you. That maybe you're realizing that we would be perfect together." Tears fell onto Rachel's lap as she looked down away from Quinn.

"Rachel, I'm sorry, but I haven't given you any signs," Quinn didn't want to hurt Rachel, but she had to be honest.

"Then what about last night?" Rachel asked, looking back at Quinn.

"Last night? Last night I was drunk and you tried to kiss me." Quinn wasn't sure where Rachel was going with this.

"Really? Then why did you kiss me first?"

Quinn was at a lose for words momentarily. She tried to search her memory, she couldn't remember initiating any kiss with Rachel, all she could remember was Rachel pulling her into a kiss. Rachel was looking into Quinn's eyes, waiting for an answer, "Well...I was drunk, I probably didn't know what I was doing or even who I was with!"

"You didn't know it was me? Before you kissed me you called me by name and told me you couldn't imagine your life without me. You knew it was me, Quinn. You wanted to kiss me." Rachel lifted her chin in determination, despite her tears.

Quinn wasn't sure what to think now. Had she really wanted to kiss Rachel? Deep down did she have some kind of romantic feelings for her? How could that be? She had never thought of Rachel as anything more than a friend. Sure, she cared about her, and she loved being with her, and she felt comfortable and loved when she was with her, but that's how friends feel about each other, right?

Rachel didn't give Quinn enough time to respond before continuing, "Tell me, Quinn, when you remember last night, when you think about us laying in bed, and you think about me kissing you, what do you feel? Do you feel disgust? Do you feel anger? Sadness? How does it make you feel?"

Quinn hadn't thought about that. She had been so focused on the fact that she felt taken advantage of that she hadn't thought about what actually transpired. She new it didn't make her feel any of the emotions that Rachel suggested, but she didn't know how it made her feel. For the first time Quinn started thinking about what it felt like to kiss Rachel. Her memories about what she had been feeling last night were hazy. Quinn looked down at Rachel's lips, they were soft and full, great lips for kissing. Quinn shook her head as she snapped herself away from those thoughts.

"I'm not gay," Quinn said firmly.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Rachel said in frustration, "I'm not asking your thoughts on being with a girl, I'm asking what you feel about being with me."

Quinn had had enough of this, "Rachel, I just want to be friends, that's it!"

Rachel just looked at Quinn for a moment, sadness in her face, "Well, I don't want to be friends. I'm sorry, Quinn, I just can't do this anymore."

Quinn felt her own tears finally starting to well up in her eyes, "Rachel, that's not fair. I don't want to stop being friend."

"It's not about being fair, Quinn, it's about saving myself. I just can't take this anymore, if we keep going like this I'm going to have a break down," Rachel stood up off the stoop.

"Rachel, please, we can talk this out," Quinn grabbed her hand, tears now stained her face to match Rachel's, "Sit back down."

Rachel stared at Quinn for a moment. It looked as if she was truly considering take back her seat. But then she pulled her hand away from Quinn's. "I'm sorry, Quinn," Rachel looked at Quinn for one last moment before walking into her house, leaving her on the stoop.

Quinn just sat there, unable to move. This had gone so horribly wrong. The thought of not being friends with Rachel was devastating to Quinn. She had lost many friends over the years, but none had hurt like this. She didn't even know why it hurt so much. She refused to believe that perhaps the reason she felt so bad was because she might have some deep-seated feelings for Rachel. It just wasn't possible. Quinn, finally got up, got in her car, and drove away. If she had just looked behind her she would have seen the brunette girl, standing in front of the upstairs window, looking down at her.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Rachel had never felt so alone. Even sitting in the Glee classroom, surrounded by her teammates, she felt like the only one there. She sat in the back right corner, as far away from everyone as she could. Finn was seated as far away as he could possibly be without sitting on the floor, he had avoided her all day, not even making eye contact. Quinn sat almost directly in front of Rachel in the front row. That's where Rachel had first sat down, but when Quinn sat down next to her, Rachel had stood up and moved to the back. Quinn had seemed ready to move as well, but had decided not to. Perhaps realizing that Rachel just needed some space right now.

Everyone else could feel the tension in the room, even Mr. Shue. He tried to to teach today's lesson, but everyone else seemed too distracted by the obvious drama going on. Rachel didn't think anyone knew yet that Finn and her had broken up, but it was obvious to everyone that something bad was going on with them. Rachel didn't care though, right now she was wondering why she even showed up. Not a single person in this room wanted her here, except maybe Quinn, and she didn't want her enough. Rachel missed talking to Quinn, but she knew talking would lead to making up, and then they would be friends again, right back where they started.

When the class ended Rachel hopped out of her seat and made a bee line for the door. Quinn called out to her, but Rachel pretended not to notice. Rachel went straight to the girls bathroom, she sat down in one the stalls, closed the door, and just started crying. This was only day one of not being friends with Quinn, and Rachel was already starting to break down from it.

Rachel heard the squeak of the bathroom door being opened and tried to quiet her sobbing. Whoever had entered didn't do anything at first, as if they we're just listening. Then the girl started opening stall doors, one after the other, until she got to Rachel's. Rachel set her jaw in preparation of giving this girl a piece of her mind, but when the stall door opened Rachel was at a loss for words.

"Santana?" Rachel finally managed to get out. Santana stood there for a moment just giving Rachel a once over with a little smile on her face.

"You look a mess," Santana said while shaking her head back and forth, "Lets get you cleaned up." Santana offered her hand to Rachel who only hesitated a moment before taking it. Santana lead her to the sink where she proceeded to use a paper towel to pat away Rachel's tears.

"Why are you doing this?" Rachel asked, suspiciously.

"Simple, like everyone else, I want to know what's going on. But unlike everyone else, I was smart enough to know who to come to for that answer. Right?" Santana gave herself a smug smile in the mirror before turning her attention back to Rachel.

"Nothing is going," Rachel said.

"Oh, Rach, you can't fool me. You have the worst poker face I've ever seen. Now, tell me, what's happening between you, Finn, and Quinn."

"Why should I tell you anything?" Rachel said, snatching the paper towel from Santana.

"Because we're friends, of course. Friends tell each other their problems. Maybe I can help," Rachel didn't think Santana looked too convincing.

"And when did we become friends?"

"About two minutes ago when I was the only one who came to see if you were okay. I don't see Finn or Quinn in here, do you?" Santana said, looking around the empty bathroom.

"But you did that for your own selfish reasons."

Santana threw her hands up in the air in frustration, "So? Everyone's selfish. You, me, Mother freakin' Teresa. Everyone. At least I'm honest enough to admit it. Now, since I'm being so honest I think you should return the courtesy and tell me what's going on."

Rachel new telling her was a bad idea, but at the same time she needed to tell someone. If she kept everything bottle up like this she was going to explode. "Finn and I broke up," Rachel said softly.

Santana started tapping her finger against her chin, "That would explain a lot. So he finally broke up with you? I always knew you two wouldn't last, you seemed so awkward together."

"Actually, I broke up with him."

"You broke up with him? All of last year you were fawning over him and trying to steal him from Quinn, and you broke up with him?" Santana's eyes were wide with shock.

"It had to be done," Rachel said, tears starting to form in her eyes again.

"I don't think you can do much better than Finn. He was way out of your league to start with, you can only go down from here."

"I don't care about that. I did it for him."

"Really?" Santana said, "and what about Quinn? Over the last few weeks you two looked like you were becoming BFFs. Now you wont even look at her, what's that about?"

"It's complicated." Rachel said, moving away from Santana.

"Does Finn want to be with Quinn again? Is that why you broke up with him, so they could be together?" Santana guessed.

"What? No! You're way off."

"Hmm, that's seemed like the obvious reason. So what is it?" Santana moved closer to Rachel, waiting for an answer.

"It's none of your business," Rachel said firmly.

"Well, it doesn't matter. You breaking up with Finn is definitely the juicier news," Santana said, rubbing her hands together, "you're better off not being around Quinn, anyway. You think I'm a bitch? At least I'm a bitch to your face. Quinn? She'll make you think you're the best of friends until one day she finally stabs you in the back. How else do you think she got her position as Cheerios' captain back so quickly?"

"Don't say that!" Rachel demanded, "Quinn is the nicest, sweetest, most loyal person I know! She's nothing like you say!"

"Oh, come on Rach, get a reality check. Quinn is worse than scum. You should be happy, you're better of now that you two are no longer..."

Santana was cut off as Rachel's dainty right fist made contact with Santana's right eye. Santana fell to the ground in a heap, clutching her face. Rachel shook her hand in pain. Santana's face was covered in pure shock, which mirrored Rachel's own expression. She had not expected to do that. Santana got up off the floor, a bruise already starting to form around her eye. Her facial expression turned from shock to anger as she stepped closer to Rachel.

"You're going to regret that," Santana said, all friendliness gone from her voice.

Rachel started backing away, "I'm sorry Santana, it was an accident," Rachel looked around Santana at the exit behind her.

"Accident? Well I guess it's going to be an accident when I stuff your head in the toilet!" Santana screeched.

Rachel let out a loud yelp as Santana grabbed her collar and started pulling her towards the closest stall. Rachel tried to pull away, but Santana was too strong. Neither of them heard the bathroom door open.

"Hey!"

Both girls turned to look at the door to see who had arrived. Quinn stood at the door, her hands on her hips, "If you don't let her go you'll be sorry."

"You think you can take me?" Santana said with a laugh, "Last time we fought you got lucky that Mr. Shue showed up. He's not here now though."

"Maybe I can't take you alone, but I think the two of us could," Quinn said, moving closer to Santana and Rachel.

Santana looked at Rachel and then back at Quinn before letting go of Rachel's collar, "Fine, you win," her voice was a lot calmer than it was a moment ago. "But know that this isn't over," Santana gave bother of them one last look before brushing by Quinn and leaving the bathroom.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Quinn asked, grabbing Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel looked at Quinn, she could feel tears building in her eyes. She almost wished that Quinn hadn't shown up and that Santana had just dunked her. With a loud sob Rachel pulled away from Quinn and ran out the door. She knew that it was wrong of her to flee after Quinn had saved her, but she just couldn't handle this. She couldn't let Quinn work her way back into Rachel's life, or she would have to deal with the pain of being around Quinn without ever getting to actually be with her, and that was worse than a toilet slushie any day of the week.


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry this next chapter took so long. Writers block, I guess.**

CHAPTER TWENTY

Quinn laid in her bed and just stared at the ceiling. She had been like that for awhile, unable to fall asleep. The clock next to her bed read 2 o'clock, she'd have to get up for school in a few hours. She felt exhausted, but her mind was filled with so many thoughts that she couldn't calm herself enough to sleep. Even counting sheep didn't work, the highest she had gotten to was twenty-seven sheep before her mind veered off to something different.

Her main focus was Rachel, well, her only focus was Rachel. Quinn didn't know what to do. She had thought about just accepting Rachel's wishes and just stopping being friends with her, but it wasn't that easy. Quinn cared for Rachel, hanging out with her over the last several weeks had been some of the best times of her life. She would never have guessed that she could connect so well with someone so different from her. Why did Rachel have to feel the way she does about her? Why couldn't she just want to be friends? Quinn kept asking herself those questions in frustration, but she knew it was unfair to ask, Rachel couldn't help how she felt.

Quinn sat up in bed and threw the covers off of herself, she was never going to fall asleep no matter how long she laid there. She got up out of the bed and started pacing, her mind continuing to ask the same questions it had been for the last few hours. Finally Quinn grabbed her phone and flicked threw her phone book till she found Rachel's number. She stared at it for a moment, her finger hovering over the send button. _She's probably asleep right now, and even if she was awake, she'd never answer the phone_, Quinn thought to herself. With a sigh Quinn threw the phone on her bed and decided to head down stairs, perhaps a little television would lull her to sleep.

When she got down stairs the television was already on and her mother was sitting on the couch, remote in hand. Her mother gave a start as Quinn walked into the room. Neither said a word as Quinn sat down next to her mother and started watching the late night infomercial on the television. It was a somewhat awkward silence as both women were curious as to why the other was up. Quinn decided she would break the silence.

"Is something wrong, mom?" Quinn asked.

"No, nothing. I just can't sleep," her mother responded, obviously lying.

"Mom, I'm not stupid. What's the problem?" Quinn asked more firmly.

"This isn't the kind of thing someone your age should have to worry about," her mother said, not even looking at her.

"Mom, I'm a big girl now. I'll be an adult soon, when will I be ready for this kind of talk?" Her mother seemed to be fighting herself over that question, "Mom?"

"I miss your father," Quinn's mother said, finally looking at her.

"But he cheated on you!"

"I know, and that's why I don't go running back to him, but I still miss him," tears started to well up in her mother's eyes, Quinn grabbed a tissue and gave it to her. Her mother continued, "When you spend so much time with someone, someone you love and who loves you in return, it's so difficult to just forget them, no matter what they did. I'll never go back to your father, but I'll probably spend the rest of my life thinking about him."

Quinn felt sorry for her mother, and it was made worse by the fact that there was nothing she could do to help her. It amazed Quinn how similar her mother's situation was to her own. She cared for Rachel, and Rachel cared for her, and now they were no longer together. Quinn was scared at the thought of spending the rest of her life thinking about what she had lost with Rachel. It didn't matter to Quinn that the feelings they had for each other were so different, they had to be together.

"What about you?" Her mother asked, continuing to wipe tears out of her eyes.

"Oh, you know, school," She lied. Her mother wasn't as perceptive as she was.

"Sweetie, you're a smart girl, you've never had a problem with school. I doubt that's going to change," her mother said with a proud smile.

"Thanks mom," Quinn responded cuddling in next to her.

Quinn began to think about how she would fix her relationship with Rachel. It wouldn't be easy, she had to convince Rachel that, no matter what the circumstances, they were better off as friends than as strangers. She knew this situation was hurting Rachel just as much as herself, and she had to believe that Rachel wanted to be friends again, even if she fought against it. Quinn continued to think about Rachel as she drifted to sleep in her mother's arms.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Rachel sat in front of her computer, staring at the blank screen. She had sat down with the intention of recording a song to post on line, but had gotten as far as sitting down before she lost interest. She was having trouble getting herself to do anything, she had skipped dinner because she just couldn't will herself to go down stairs. Plus, she didn't want to face her dads. They knew something was wrong with her, but Rachel didn't want to get them involved. This wasn't something they could fix.

Rachel decided she'd just go to bed. It was already eleven and she was feeling quite tired, tired enough to almost nod off in her computer chair. Rachel got up, turned off the lights, and walked over to her bed. She flopped down on top of the covers, not even bothering to do her nightly routine or even changing into her usual pajamas. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore all the things that were going through her head. Thankfully her mind decided to listen to her this time, allowing her to quickly nod off.

When Rachel opened her eyes it was still dark outside. She looked over at her alarm clock, two o'clock. She sighed as she rolled away from her clock and tried going back to sleep. Her stomach suddenly gave off a loud rumble, protesting her decision to skip dinner. Rachel tried to ignore it at first, but it wasn't too long before she was sliding off her bed and leaving her room. She walked slowly down the stairs through the dark, quiet house, she didn't want to wake her dads.

She made her way to the kitchen and swung open the fridge, looking for some possible left overs from dinner. She found a plate full of vegetable spring rolls on it. She threw it in the microwave and set it for three minutes. Rachel leaned back against the counter and just stared at the plate spinning inside the microwave. She recalled the time she had made vegetable spring rolls for Quinn, she remembered the surprised look on Quinn's face when she realized they were actually pretty good.

The sudden thought of Quinn brought with it a sweeping wave of emotion behind it. Before Rachel could even figure out why, she was crying. She didn't even bother to wipe away the tears, just letting them roll down her face and drip onto her shirt. She couldn't take this anymore, every time she thought about Quinn her emotions became uncontrollable. Why couldn't she get over Quinn? Was she cursed to spend the rest of her life breaking down every time Quinn entered her mind?

The loud beeping of the microwave going off snapped Rachel out of her thoughts. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand, then pulled the steaming spring rolls out of the microwave and placed them on the table. She grabbed a large, sharp knife to cut the spring rolls into bite sized pieces. But before she cut them, she stopped. Rachel stared at the knife for a moment, distracted by it's sharp tip. _There is one way that I'll never have to feel the pain of not having Quinn_, Rachel thought to herself. Rachel lifted her wrist and studied it for a moment, she could clearly make out the veins running up her arm.

Rachel brought the knife to her wrist and ran it down her arm, not hard enough to cut, just hard enough to leave an indent in her skin. A voice in the back of her head was screaming at her, trying to get her attention, but Rachel was completely transfixed by her wrist. She brought the knife to her wrist again, she dragged it along the same path as the first time, this time applying a little more pressure. A line of blood trailed behind the knife, it wasn't a lot of blood, but enough that it started running down her arm. It wasn't a deep cut. Rachel watched the blood running down her arm and dripping onto the floor. She brought the knife to her wrist a third time, ready to run it along the same path again.

Suddenly Rachel snapped out of her hypnotized state, "Oh my God, what am I doing?" she said as she dropped the knife to the floor. She quickly grabbed a hand towel and covered her wrist. She couldn't believe what she had almost done. She would have cried more if the situation wasn't so terrifying. Rachel ran to the bathroom to wash her wrist and find some bandages to cover the wound. She then went back into the kitchen. She put the spring rolls back into the fridge, having lost her appetite, and cleaned up the blood off the knife and the floor. She decided to bring the hand towel up to her room and hide it, she wasn't sure if she could explain there being blood on the towel to her dads.

Rachel finally got back into her bed, but she couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about what she had done, or why she had done it. Was she really in this bad a shape? That the pain of being without Quinn was driving her to think about suicide? Rachel always thought people who took that route were cowards, those who weren't brave enough to face the world. Did that mean she was a coward? Would she ever be brave enough to move on with her life without Quinn?


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Quinn was determined to face Rachel today. She didn't care if she had to tie her up and throw her in a broom closet. She knew that Rachel went to her locker after the lunch to get her books for her afternoon classes, that's where Quinn would get her. She was already standing at the corner of the hallway, just down from Rachel's locker. She waited there, thinking that maybe she should have brought a rope with her.

Rachel appeared down the other end of the hallway, making her way to her locker. She was wearing one of her bright animal sweaters; Quinn used to find them ugly, but now she thought they were cute. It made her smile for a moment, but she quickly shook her head, trying to refocus on her goal. Quinn waited till Rachel had grabbed her books and started heading back up the hallway towards her next class. Quinn took that moment to follow her. She closed the distance between the two girls quickly, reaching her just as they passed in front of the girls bathroom. Quinn firmly grabbed Rachel's hand from behind and pulled her into the girls bathroom. Rachel gave off a small yelp as she flew through the door after Quinn.

Once Rachel had regained her footing she gave Quinn a look that flashed between annoyance and fear. Quinn was starting to think this might not have been the best method, but she was already here so she might as well continue. There was already a girl in the bathroom, the girl had looked up with a start as they had come crashing through the door. Quinn gave her a hard stare before pointing at the exit. The girl quickly made her way to the door, not making eye contact with Quinn.

"What do you want, Quinn?" Rachel asked once the girl had left the bathroom.

"We need to talk," Quinn responded as she locked the bathroom door.

Rachel glanced at the locked door a moment before moving to mirror to fix her hair, "We have nothing to talk about."

"Yes we do. We need to talk about 'us'," Quinn said as she moved next to Rachel.

"There is no 'us', Quinn. We're not friends anymore," Rachel said, avoiding eye contact.

"Bullshit! You don't get to decide that. I will never stop being your friend, no matter how hard you push me away!" Quinn yelled at her.

Rachel finally glanced at Quinn, "Don't you get it? This friendship will never work, no matter how hard we want it to, and the more you fight it the harder you're making it. For both of us." Rachel turned away from Quinn and stepped a few paces away, "You don't even realize how hard it is for me. Every time I see you I just want to run up to you and hug you. Every time you look at me my whole body feels on fire. As long as I feel this way we can never be friends."

"Rachel, you don't know how much that hurts," Quinn said, tears falling from her eyes.

"Yes I do," Rachel said with a sob. She seemed like she wanted to say more, but instead she said, "I should go." Rachel quickly turned towards the door.

Quinn couldn't just let her leave. She reached out and grabbed Rachel's wrist to stop her. Rachel's wrist became exposed as her arm was stretched out, Quinn noticed a bandage on her wrist. Rachel tried to pull away, but Quinn was stronger. She pulled Rachel's wrist closer to her, inspecting it.

"What happened to your wrist?" Quinn asked.

"Nothing, let go of me," Rachel said, using her other hand to try and peel Quinn's hand off.

Quinn looked at Rachel's face, her face was red with a look of what Quinn could only describe as shame. Why would she be ashamed of a wound on her wrist. Quinn looked back at the bandage. She reached out and grabbed a corner of the bandage and peeled it back, exposing a straight red line going up Rachel's wrist. Rachel gave out a final yell as she successfully tore her wrist from Quinn's grip.

"Rachel, what did you do?" Quinn asked, a horrible feeling of dread building inside of her.

"I just scratched myself," Rachel said, placing the bandage back over the cut.

"That was no scratch, Rachel. That was deep, and too straight to be an accident," Quinn reached out her hand again to grab Rachel's wrist, but she pulled away.

"Quinn, please just leave me alone, I'm begging you," Rachel said, starting to cry uncontrollably.

"Rachel, did you do this to yourself?" Quinn asked, moving closer to Rachel, but not touching her.

Rachel didn't say anything at first, she seemed to be looking for an answer that would make Quinn go away. Apparently she didn't find one because instead of answering Quinn, she fell to the bathroom floor, crying into her hands. Quinn was at her side in an instant, holding her.

"It was just a moment of weakness, Quinn," Rachel said through her crying, "I would never hurt myself."

"Rachel, this is serious. You need help. You should talk to Ms. Pillsbury," Quinn said, not exactly sure what to do.

"No! I don't need to talk to anyone. It'll never happen again," Rachel finally pushed Quinn away from her and began to wipe the tears from her face.

"I wouldn't have expected it to happen once, not from you Rachel," Quinn reached out her hand and placed it on Rachel's knee, "you need to talk to somebody."

"I'm not going to Ms. Pillsbury!"

"Fine, have it your way," Quinn said, crossing her arms.

Rachel looked at her a moment. Obviously confused as to why Quinn had given up so easily. Rachel stood up, not taking her eyes off Quinn who stood up with her. They stood there in silence for a moment before Rachel turned around and unlocked the bathroom door. She started making her way down the hallway, and Quinn followed her. Rachel only went a short way before she turned around and noticed that Quinn was still with her.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked.

"Following you," Quinn replied.

"Why?"

"Until you agree to get help I'll be your shadow. To make sure you don't try to hurt yourself again," Quinn said in a no nonsense tone.

"I'm not going to hurt myself, Quinn, " Rachel said.

"I hope not. But until I'm sure of that I'm not leaving your side," Quinn made her point by moving beside Rachel.

"Quinn..." Rachel started.

"You're not going to talk your way out of this so you might as well head to class."

Rachel gave Quinn a final hard look before turning back down the hallway toward her class. Quinn wasn't sure what her plan was but she knew she couldn't leave Rachel alone, not in the fragile state she was in. Quinn had never thought that Rachel was hurting this bad. This was the first time Quinn truly realized how much Rachel was really care about her. The fact that it was causing her to harm herself made Quinn feel worthless. Quinn was going to make up for it though, she would do everything in her power to keep Rachel safe, even from herself.


End file.
